Always you

2. Feelings

Lauren PoV:

I opened my mouth to say something but
nothing was coming out. The minute of pure agonising silence filled the tiny room. But what was minutes felt like hours to me. Camila had been Ignoring me for what has been to many times to be able to count. She intentionally leaves me out and throws the end of are friendship in my face. I watch her talk to the girls during are journeys on the tour bus. So why does she not want to talk to me? I understand that as a best friend this would hurt to no longer have your best friend around, but for me it's considerable worse. As I'm in love with Camila! I can't help it, my feeling have slowly been building up over time and I have come to the conclusion I love her. I know the feelings aren't mutual so this is why I can only take her as a friend. But with her drifting away from me, this is hard to achieve without breaking down.

So as I hear "what was that Lauren"
After I've released a serious of mumbles as a way for my brain to cope with what's happening. I loose it. I walk out of the room. I run not really knowing where to go due to being at a venue never performed in before.

A toilet is my best option. So I carefully check to see if there's anyone else in there to find there isn't. I lock a stall and throw my back against the door and feel myself slowly fall down until I'm sitting on the floor crying my eyes out. I've tried to stay strong. There's been nights where I'm at a low point and cry to myself while everyone's sleeping in there bunks. But never like this. I don't like to show my weak side. I feel vulnerable. I'm breaking all I want is Camila but I can't have her I don't have the courage to tell due to fear of my heart breaking even more then it is.

As I wipe my eyes and try to rub off the mascara dripping down my face to prevent a telling off from the makeup artists. I have picture after picture of her running through my head. The way she sings, laughs, talks, the ways she try's to dance and becomes frustrated believing she can't when I know she looks beautiful anyway. My train of thoughts is broken when a loud banging is heard on the bathroom door and a booming voice asking if I was in here because the shows about to start. I take one last glance at myself before I agree that I'm just about presentable and ready to proceed on to the stage where I will spend a painful amount of time taking glances at Camila and trying to sing in my current state.