Songs About Jane

Chapter 4- How

The deafening roar of the music and the smell of smoke and alcohol is enough to make me want to scream, but I put up with it for my friends. Kelsey is perched on a barstool next to me, sipping a cocktail. I scan the dance floor for Selena, but she's nowhere to be found. We better find our designated driver before she gets tempted to do anything stupid.

"You sure you don't want anything to drink? I'll buy," Kelsey offers, her words already slightly slurred from the drink.

"Nah, I'm fine. Really." I don't drink often, it's just not really my thing.

"I have to tell you something, just between you and me and the deep blue sea," she says.

"Or your deep blue cocktail," I say, ushering towards her drink.

She laughs a little too much than necessary. "Uh-huh." She lowers her voice and leans a little closer toward my ear. I can smell her stinky breath from the drink. "I think Graham's cheating on me."

I gasp. "Nooo. Not Grahamy cracker!"

"Stop," she says bubbly, "That's my nickname. You can come up with your own for him."

"Oh, yeah. I have a few choice words all ready, just for him, if it turns out that what you are saying is correct."

"Well, I think he's been cheating on me-" -she hiccups- "-'cuz we haven't been very, you know, lately," she explains while waving her arms in the air.

"Whoa, TMI again there."

"And," she continues, "I don't see him very much. He doesn't come back to the house very much, claiming that he's on business trips or with the guys or whatever."

"Which is exactly why," Selena says as I scoot over to make room for her on the barstool since there are no other empty seats. Tonight's really crowded, even more crowded than usual on a Saturday night. That's one of the reasons I want to leave tonight. I'm not antisocial or claustrophobic or anything, it's just nobody likes a crowded club. Selena continues, "Why I said that you should have never let him move in with you because what did I say?"

"I'd become overly attached to him, and when he left I'd be broken, upset, and alone." Kelsey says in a monotone.

"Exactly," Selena answers, taking a swig of Kelsey's drink. "And now you've gotten attached. So you know what comes next."

Kelsey sighs and traces circles from the ring of condensation left from her drink. "Love is so.. complicated. I don't understand it."

I sing,

"'Girl, i don't understand the meaning of love,

I do not mind if I die trying.'"

"Stop singing 'How' or I'll beat the crap out of you," Kelsey threatens.

Selena and i erupt in laughter, and when we finally calm down, I ask Selena, "Speaking of love, any guys you've seen here yet?"

Now it's her turn to sigh. "Yes."

"Well that's-"

"He's in a relationship," she snaps.

"Oh."

"What about that one?" Kelsey says, pointing to a tall, tan guy with blond hair.

Selena makes a face. "He looks like he's sixteen. No way in hell am I dating a teenager."

Kelsey looks at me. "She's too picky."

"Am not. I'm... selective," Selena explains, pulling out a cigarette.

"Riiight."

"I'm going outside," I announce. "I need some fresh air."

"But-" Kelsey stutters.