Songs About Jane

Chapter 7- Secret

*Adam's P.O.V.*

Driving back home from Jane's house sucked. And yet, I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it was because things were forced to return back to normal now, and by normal I mean insane. For just one day, I could be a normal man with her, and I find that I enjoyed myself far more than she probably did. Being able to be myself after all this time... I can't even find the right word to describe it. It's like breaking out of my cage that society has forced me into (as poetic as that sounds) and she has the key to it. I didn't want her to leave.

I don't understand why she was so embarrassed by her house. From the outside, it looks perfect. Small and quaint, yet sturdy. She has a garden in her front yard full of flowers and plants next to the walkway to the door. If Jane was a house, she would be it. It's just right for her.

Gah, Jane. I can't get her off my mind, no matter how hard I try. I want her to trust me, i wanna learn her secrets and find out she's so guarded. Ever since last night, I can't get those big beautiful blue eyes out of my head. I had driven to that club, just to get away, yet I ended up finding just what I might need.

***

*The Night Before, Adam's P.O.V.*

The world flew by as I slammed my foot on the pedal, going faster and faster and faster, speeding down the interstate, leaving my problems behind and bringing what little was left in me along.

James said that there was this little club out in the suburbs here in LA, he said it was great to have a few shots there, party, and forget about all the sh** you had going on.

Jesse warned that I shouldn't, that lately I'd been really down and angry with the world, and when I'm upset and angry I tend to get really drunk and do stupid things. He's right. I do.

But I don't really want to go anywhere. I just want to drive, because I have to get out.

A lot of things have been going on lately. Behati's done with me; she called off the engagement and everything just because of some rumor going around saying that I cheated on her. I didn't, but it's happened so many times now that she was done with it, and said that she couldn't keep doing this to herself, that she deserves better, that it wouldn't have worked out anyway, etc.

And she walked away, just like they all do. They promise that they'll be there for you forever, and then one day they forget about all of that and just leave you broken and alone. It's okay. I'm used to it by now, anyway. All those fairy tales are full of it. There's no happy endings, none of that love-conquers-all sh**. It's all lies.

Plus, The Voice offered me a big paycheck if I stayed with them, even though I promised the guys that we'd work on our next album. And when I took it, they were pissed. Even when I tried to explain myself, they wouldn't hear it. The Tension's been hanging in the air for a while now, but this was the last straw and the guys were done. I heard Mickey mutter after practice, "This band's done. Nothing's gonna make it better."

Even Mom's disappointed in me. When I talked to her the other day about all this, she simply replied, "I don't know, Adam. I know you're angry, but it is your fault. I just... I just thought you'd be happy, be loved by now."

"Maybe I'm doing something wrong," I sighed.

"Or you just haven't met her yet," she replied.

Maybe I haven't. So I'm going to find her.

*A couple hours later*

I end up in the parking lot of the club, debating whether I should listen to James and go have fun, or take Jesse's advice and just keep going. The call I had with Mom the other day plays in my head over and over again. I just thought you'd be happy, be loved by now.