Confessions of a Sex Addict

Chapter One: What's your name again?

Ok new story! Here's the deal, the first few chapters are gonna be short until i know where i'm going to go with this and if I want to keep it going. Soooo let me know what you think! Much love =]

A bead of sweat dripped along my face as I looked down at him, his eyes reflecting my own lust. I couldn't tell you what happened in my life to cause this…what had led me to this point. Perhaps it was my intense need to be accepted and loved. Or perhaps I only was in it for the pleasure. No matter, I was here now and James was lying beneath me slowly grinding his hips into mine. I was getting the high that no drug could compete with. This high was better than any drag off a joint could bring, or any hit of acid. My body shuddered as his hands explored every curve and crevasse, his lips slightly parted and quiet moans escaping with each thrust. James wasn't what I would call my normal fix. I usually made a point to learn about the guys I slept with for my own personal safety however, my addiction reached a new peak tonight and I had hit my wall, losing all self control and sense of self preservation. I needed this. I smirked down at the tattooed boy beneath me, feeling a sense of power take over me as I slowed down to a tantalizing pace which I knew would drive him mad. His grip tightened and he bit down on his bottom lip, trying with all his might to return to the pace we were once achieving. My eyes grew wide with anger.

"NO!" I said fiercely, bringing my hands around his neck, depriving him of his much needed oxygen.

"Sorry!" he quickly gasped. My grip relaxed enough to allow James to breath properly, however my hands remained fastened around his neck, prepared for anymore misbehavior.

***                                                                                                                             

His breath came in even pants now as his whole body relaxed and he came down from his own little high. I on the other hand, was all but satisfied, a feeling I had become accustomed to and with a sigh I heaved myself out of his little twin sized bed. My pants were quickly on followed by my bra and shirt. James staring lazily at my haste.

"Leaving so soon?" he managed to croak out.

"I have to be up early" I said checking my phone for the time. Five thirty AM…shit. Half hour drive home, half hour to fall asleep…which left only two hours of sleep before work.

"Oh…well text me when you're home and let me know you're safe"

I smirked at his kind words, knowing they were empty of feeling. One lesson I had learned in all of my experiences was that guys did not grow emotionally attached, and any kind words said were a mere façade…a scheme to make sure I came back. I rarely return to the same bed though. One time only…any more was dangerous. Any more and my emotions start breaking through causing catastrophe within myself. I had been to that terrible place many times before and after my last heartbreak I had sworn to myself never to return. Therefore, the door in my heart that led to my love, caring, devotion, and trust remained tightly shut and locked. No one had the power to break it down no matter the attempts.

I gave my good byes to James and hastened out of his house without another word. My red Hyundai Tiburon sat on the curb, awaiting my return, its engine still warm. I jumped in my car, roaring its engine to life with a simple turn of the key. I then waited for a time…

"You know it's bad for your car to start it and drive right away" he said with that know-it-all smirk. I looked over to him in the passenger seat with a scowl.

"I’m sorry but I don't treat my car like my baby like some people" I snapped. He laughed and shook his head, his brilliant smile dazzling me as it always had.

I quickly shook the thought from my head, locking it tight in the chest that was full to bursting of memories from a past life. I cursed at myself for letting another one slip through.

"Fuck him" I muttered through gritted teeth, pulling away from the curb and making my way home.

A half hour later I pulled into my driveway, behind my father's car. I bit my lip praying he and my stepmom were fast asleep and wouldn't notice my absence. Thankfully, luck was on my side tonight and I was able to easily slip into my bedroom. My white Samoyed was still waiting for me on my bed, his pink tongue flopping out of his mouth in a large smile as he saw me.

"Hi Noah" I said patting his head lovingly. Noah looked up at me and then over to my open laptop before laying his head back down on my bed. I gave life to my computer, and noticed my Facebook page was still pulled up. With a quick glance, I noticed who I had last been talking to and I put a hand exasperatedly over my forehead.

"His name was Zach!"

***
"How was your night last night?" Cori asked, knowing what shenanigans had gone down.

"Besides, me thinking his name was James all night long? Oh it was fine" I mumbled folding a shirt and laying in back on the table in front of me.

"Ell, you didn't know his name?!" Cori scolded, from atop her ladder as she placed a sign that read 'JCPenney, where every day matters' above the Arizona Jeans.

"I knew…a name…just…not the right name" I said awkwardly, shifting my weight to my right foot. A yawn broke through my composure revealing how truly exhausted I was, not having more than an hour's worth a sleep. It took a lot longer to fall asleep than I had imagined and work this morning was already taking its toll on my body. JCPenney was alit and bustling with associates as we prepared for the store to open in two hours, a task which my body was fighting the whole time.

"I need a Monster" I groaned thinking of my favorite energy drink. Cori clicked her tongue impatiently before during back to her sign. "And don't scold me. You know I have a problem" I snapped at her.

"Yes I do, Londyn, and I also know that you're not doing anything to stop it!" she jabbed back using my full name making me feel like I was having this argument with my mother.

"It's not that friggen easy" I mumbled throwing a wadded up shirt at her. It bounced off her head and fell to the ground earning a pissy look from my tiny friend.

"You're going to get yourself into a whole mess of trouble" she said knowingly.

I let the subject drop, not knowing how true her statement was.