My Love For You Is Endless

Apologies & Temporary Depression

(Kenny's POV)

Everything hurts.My head,my hands,my feet,everything.I shoved my hands into the pockets of my parka as I walked.I've been walking the streets of South Park since I left Kyle's house yesterday.

It's about six in the morning now and I don't want to go home.I decided to go to the woods by Kyle's house where we spent the day together just last week.It was only a week ago but it feels like it was years ago.I made my to the exact tree where he fell asleep on my shoulder.I let out a long sigh as I remembered that day.

Everything was so peaceful and calm but it all changed so fast.In just the span of a week mine and Kyle's relationship seemed to crumble.And now the fat fucker is going to take him away from me.Or maybe he'll fall for Stan and they'll be happy together.He would be good for him,they'll move to California and I'll be here with my fucked up family.

I watched as the sun rose and I felt my heart ache in my chest.It felt like a hole had been ripped through the middle of me.Trust me I know what that feels like.I decided to head back to my house to get my cigarettes and lighter.I opened my door to be greeted by the smell of smoke and booze.Also with the lovely stench of pot from Kevin's room.Great.

Just fucking great.I rolled my eyes before slamming the door behind me and going back onto the streets.I decided to go to Stark's pond to think.I don't want to smoke at the place so close to Kyle.I'm not going to do that shit to him.I took a seat on the wooden bench before pulling out a cig and my lighter.

I lit it before taking a long drag from it while I smoked I let my thoughts wonder.What am I gonna do about Kyle?What even can I do?All he's been doing is getting mad at me or is scared of me lately.And whose fault is that?Mine.It's all my fault.I felt my eyes tear up at the thought.I hurt the one person that I love the most.Why can't I just make him happy?

Why can't I do something right for once in my pathetic life?I let the tears that had collected on my eyes roll down my cheeks.I finished my fag and lit a second.While I'm here having a pity party Kyle could already be happy hooking up with Stan.Or worse Cartman.Stan is to confused for a relationship and Cartman is just going to use him.

Why can't he just see that?Why can't he see that we were meant for eachother?Who the fuck am I kidding?I don't deserve someone as beautiful as Kyle.Like I've heard a million times before,I'm just some poor piece of shit.I'm a fucking piece of trailer trash waiting to be thrown in the dump.Kyle shouldn't have to dael with my worthless ass.

Maybe if I kill myself then he'll be happy.I finished off my cigarette before lighting another one.Nah,that wouldn't work.I've tried it before.I just came right back.I don't know why though.I just fuck everything up.I'm not doing any good alive so I don't understand why I keep coming back.

I need up smoking an entire pack while I wallowed in filth and self pity.I don't even know what time it is right now.Eh,I don't really care anyway.I laid down and stared into the sky as I thought.Why can't I just be good enough for Kyle?Why can't I be a better person?It's not like I haven't tried.I tried to be better to everyone but it didn't work out.

Maybe if I was a better person I would have a chance with Kyle.With my luck probably not but I would have a better shot than now.I bet I would.I wish that I had more fags on me.Damn I was hoping that they would numb the pain for a while longer.I guess that I can go buy some more.I had to rob someone for this money which sucks ass but I needed it.

I'm addicted,like all adicts I need my fix.I dragged myself off the bench and to a convince store.I opened the door and was hit with a wave of warmth but I shrugged it off.Fuck it.I'm buying some cheap booze while I'm here.I grabbed a bottle of the cheapest shit that would still get me drunk.After I bought another pack and the bottle I left.

Where to next?I guess back to Stark's pond.I could just lie there and wallow in my filth and self pity again.At least now I have something to get me drunk.I found the bench again and sat back down.God I miss Kyle.I'm pathetic, I can't even go 20 minutes without thinking about him.That's sad.But to be honest he's the only thing that can make me happy really.I mean sex is great but I love Kyle more.

Wow I never thought that I'd admit that even to myself.By now I was starting to feel a bit tipsy as the alcohol set in.I lit a cig before taking a drag letting in linger for a moment before exhaling.I took a swig next and alternated between the two.I continued to do this before my tipsy feeling turned into a buzz.

Which progressed to me being shitfaced to the point where I couldn't figure out how to work my lighter to smoke.Like what the actual fuck?Why is it so hard to work s lighter?Where did they even come from?Wait what if they're aliens?Shit!I could die!Wait no I can't die so I'm good.I laughed before taking another swig from my bottle.This is kinda fun.I mean it's better than hating myself while sober.

I mean I'm having more fun drunk than sober right?Oh yeah.Now I remember why I got drunk.I need to out Stan in his place still.That little fucker thinking he can have my Kyle.Nope.You're not getting my Kyle anytime soon you fucking brat.I staggered from the bench and to the brat's house.Banging in the door until he opened it.Perfect.

I nailed him straight in the gut causing him to hunch over in pain."Get up you pussy!Fight me you piece if shit!" I slurred angrily.He coughed and I rolled my eyes,this is too easy.I proceeded to beat the shit out of him before leaving him on the ground and returning to my bench.I flopped into it face first and closed my eyes as the darkness consumed me.

•~~~~~~~~~~~~~•

Hey.I realized that I kinda left this book and I needed to update more so here you guys go.