Four Years Later

I Killua

Note: this is the same as chapter one, but from Killua's point of view.

"Well don't you look absolutely adorable?" The voice startled Killua from behind the counter. He hid the reaction, of course, looking up at an elderly woman with a sweet smile.

"Erm, thanks," he replied self consciously. He glanced down at his clothing, a fluffy jacket and scarf, jeans, nothing unusual. By now he was used to compliments from people. According to his mother, he had grown into "quite the handsome young man." He didn't think so, but everyone was entitled to their own opinion.

Killua's head swiveled around the shop, searching. He couldn't use nen here, since it was a neutral zone, and it made him itch; he was so used to a visceral layer of protection encompassing his body that he felt naked without it. He spotted his target, no, his acquaintance sitting in the corner near the back wall, and headed toward them.

"Killua Zoldyck, I presume?" the woman said with a polite smile. "I'm Leila."

He held out his hand and they shook. "Good to meet you. What brings you to require my services?"

"I was told you get straight to the point," she remarked with a slightly bemused grin. She was pretty, he guessed, with flowing orange hair and dark green eyes. He was reminded somewhat of Palm, and it made him feel a little warm inside.

"Since I am here on business, I try to be brief," Killua replied.

"Well, I need to find someone."

"That's it?"

Her smile was touched with melancholy. "'fraid so, sorry."

"Alright. Who am I finding?"

"My brother, here." She reached for a small tablet computer made of glass, and handed it off to him. "All the information I have on him is in here. He was last seen in Yorknew, but that's all I know."

Killua took the tablet and began to scroll with a sigh. He had set up his own little business as the man to go to if one needed something done. That included finding missing persons, or making them, delivering dangerous materials, even body guarding a few times. It looked like the woman had some business with her brother that she needed to settle.

He wished that he'd brought Alluka in with him, but he always left her outside since someone could ask him to do something much worse than finding their brother. Still, she gave him courage and safety, and an insight that he just didn't have.

"Looks like everything's here, so we'll discuss prices over the phone?" he said more than asked, glancing up at her with only his eyes.

"Okay."

When he got up, she suddenly said, "Thank you so much."

"I'm doing my job."

They said their polite farewells, and the lady behind the counter complimented him again as he passed for the second time. He thanked her again.

By the time he got to the door, he'd shoved his hands into his pockets and closed his eyes. When he pushed the door open, the tiny bell chimed trillingly through the cold air.

He heard Alluka's voice before he even cleared the second step and it made him feel warm in spite of the sudden cold, "Big Brother, guess what!"

His eyes opened and he turned them to her. "Wha-" It felt like silence had torn a hole in his throat, catching his words, his train of thought, knocking him into tunnel vision. His brain went blank and he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Gon. It's Gon. It's him.

He was taller, still too short to beat Killua. He still looked like the kindest person in the world. He still looked like he wouldn't hurt a fly. He still looked like Gon. And he was wearing a tank top in snow. Killua would have called him an idiot if he could have.

He said something, it looked like some kind of greeting, but it didn't process. It didn't stick like the snow around them. Killua tried to speak, tried to say something, but it wouldn't form in his mouth. All he could think was, there's no way this is real, he's not here. No way.

He wanted to reach out and touch him, but he couldn't force movement into his limbs.

When Gon tried again, Killua heard it, "Long time no see." He smiled and it looked like clouds in a blue sky, like the sun, so gentle and so warm and so blinding. He almost couldn't stand to see it.

Killua took a deep breath in through his mouth, and it fogged in front of his face when he whispered, "Gon?" He never said that name. Alluka never mentioned him anymore. How long had it been since he'd said his name? He didn't want to think about it. "Is it really you?" He needed to know this was real, that this was happening in the now and not some screwed up dream.

"Yeah, yeah it's me," he said, and that was all Killua really needed. Gon wouldn't lie. He wouldn't lie about being here.

He felt heat burn behind his eyes, and cursed himself for getting emotional. "You- you should really wear a jacket." Stu-upid, you'll get sick in this weather.

"Yeah, I didn't pack for cold weather," he chuckled; oh god, it hurt inside Killua's chest.

"You-" he tried, but it came out weak, "how- I mean..." He cut himself off with a sob. Damn it all.

"Hey, hey now, don't cry," Gon sounded so kind, he was so kind, "Killua, c'mon." He stepped forward, his hands up, his boots crushing snow into the concrete.

Killua scraped at his face with the palms of his hands. Stop crying. When he didn't, he mumbled "Dammit" under his breath and sniffed. He couldn't cry here, it would make Gon feel bad, it would make him feel guilty, and it wasn't his fault, it wasn't his fault. "I'm sorry, I don't get why I can't stop," he tried to explain in a wobbly voice, "I don't-" He stared down at Gon's shoes. He'd gotten new ones since they parted ways. If he was a gambler, Killua would bet that they'd burned off his feet or something. Gon was stepping forward again. Stop. Just stand there and be real please.

He stopped walking and said in a gentle voice, "Killua." Killua looked up and felt safe automatically. He's real, he's real, please be real, please, Gon.

"Why are you crying?" It was a humorous almost-taunt, like he was trying to lighten the darkness from the situation. "I thought you'd be happy to see me- oof."

Killua reached out and held onto him tight, eyes shut as hard as he could manage. He just needed this right now. He just needed to feel his friend. Friend. Gon. He just needed to feel his Gon and know that he was real. He needed this to stay sane.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, staring at the side of Gon's neck. He was still wearing that damn necklace. "Hey," he finally greeted.

He felt Gon's arms, his friend's arms wrap around him as well, and he felt instantly better. "Good to see you too."