Cowgirl Up

Chapter 12- Lily

Jake came home early his first day back to school. No one told me why, they all said I needed to wait for him to tell me himself. So I let it go. Why did I care anyway? Jake was a jerk, and as long as he continued to treat me like shit, he'd get the same treatment. I'd done nothing but sit on the couch all day and cry, so I decided a shower would be good for me. I was so thankful to have my own bathroom. I didn't have to share my shampoo or hide my tampons or hang my bras in my closet to dry. The shower felt so good, it was over entirely too soon. Before my shower, I'd decided to take my underwear into the bathroom with me and I was glad I did because when I opened my bathroom door, I found Jake sitting on my bed.

"JESUS CHRIST!" I screamed and Jake looked startled. He stared at my half-naked body for a few seconds before I slammed the bathroom door. "Jake!" I screamed through the door. "What are you doing in here?!" I heard a creaking and shuffling, and then Jake's voice right outside the bathroom door. "I need to talk to you." His voice was monotone and emotionless, and it scared me a little. "Okay... well could you grab me some clothes so I can get dressed?" There was more shuffling and then a soft knock on my bathroom door. I opened it just a crack and Jake's arm popped in, holding out my favorite pair of gray yoga pants and a white tshirt. I grabbed the clothes hesitantly and muttered "Thank you." I dressed quickly and opened the door again, throwing my riduculously thick red hair into a pony tail. Jake was on my bed again, his elbows resting on his knees and staring at his clasped hands.

"Are you okay...?" He looked up again with a blank look. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, which I never though a boy like Jake would do so freely. "Drew said you asked why I came home so early." I nodded and took a seat at my vanity chair, a good five feet from Jake. I determined that was the perfect length to stay away in case of an angry emotional outburst. "I just need you to promise me something. This is a bad story, and I'm going to tell it from the beginning. Mostly because you need to know and partly because I just need to say it outloud again." I was confused but nodded anyway. Jake took a deep breath and sighed. "Well... let's start with last summer."

"There was this girl in my grade, Heather Hosletter, who was like the most gorgeous girl on earth. I'd always had a crush on her, but I never thought she'd notice me. She was smart, you know? Like the smart pretty ones never go for the football jock. But she did. At the end of junior year, she agreed to go out to dinner with me. We were the perfect couple, Lily. You wouldn't have believed how in love we were. She was perfect. Anyway, I guess I'll skip all the boring stuff. So four months ago, her parents kicked her out of her house. She had a lot of problems with them. She wanted to be a doctor but her parents just wanted her to work on their farm. They were always head to head about it. So one day they gave her an ultimatum. 'Live on the farm or get the hell out.' So she got out. She came here. My mom, of course, loved her and let her right in. This used to be her room. Mom wouldn't let us sleep together but just being that much closer was enough for us. The night... it happened, it was raining. my parents were with Gabe at a wrestling match out of town and Drew was out with his friends. It was a Friday and she was working so I went out with my friends. We got drunk. Really drunk. The guy I drove with, Riley, didn't give up his keys and we all said we wouldn't ride with him if he was going to drive drunk. So he sped off and we thought nothing of it. But Heather... Riley was so drunk and the weather was so bad. We should've taken his keys, maybe punched him so he would pass out and just not go anywhere. But we didn't. We were stupid. It was like midnight I guess and Heather was coming home from work. She kept calling me but I didn't answer because I was walking in the rain. I was so pissed and stumbling every two feet from how drunk I was. But Riley... He hit her head on. On the backroads, he hit her dead on. Her car swerved after that and rolled down the mountain. One night I'm out having fun and getting drunk with my friends and the next thing I know, the cops are at my door telling me the love of my life is dead because m idiot friend- who was also dead- was too stupid to give up his stupid car keys."

Jake stopped then and I noticed the tears were flowing steadily. He would never tell me this if it wasn't supposed to mean something to me, I knew that much. He felt like I was taking over his dead girlfriend's life. So many things were similar, I guess I did kind of fit the dead Heather description. "She didn't actually die on the scene though," Jake continued and his voice cracked. This was so hard for him, obviously. "She had a big bleed in her brain but she was still alive, technically. I saw her one last time at the hospital the next day. I could barely focus on what the doctor was saying between my own tears and the cries of her parents. He said the bleed was too big to operate on and that Heather was brain dead. The machines were the only things keeping her alive, and it was time to turn them off. I stayed with her the whole time. For hours after, until I felt her body go cold. All the heat just went out of it." Tears pricked my eyes as I watched jake fidget with his fingers. I'd hated him for how much he judged me on how I was handling a situation he'd never been in, when he really had. 

"Anyway," Jake sighed and stood up. He shoved his rough cowboy hands into the pockets on his Wranglers. "I just thought you should know all that." With that, he turned and walked out my door, not even waiting for my response.