It's a couple of days later and the pair are browsing through clothes on the internet.
“That's pretty, it'd really suit you” says Cheryl gesturing to an item on screen.
“Yeah, it's nice” replies Kimberley as the doorbell rings in the background “don't worry, I'll get it”
Cheryl glances round as Kim emerges from the hallway a few moments later carrying quite a large box.
“What's in that?” Cheryl asks “I don't remember ordering anything”
“That's cos you didn't” smiles Kim “I did, but it's a surprise, you'll have to wait til later”
She disappears again leaving Cheryl wondering exactly her girlfriend is up to.
Later on that evening the two are getting ready for a night out with the other girls, their first in ages.
“Come on Cheryl or we're going to be even later than Half-hour Harding” jokes Kimberley as she watches her girlfriend add the finishing touches to her make-up.
As she applies mascara Cheryl feels Kim's arms slide around her waist and her head propped up on her shoulder.
“You know you look so beautiful even without all that” Kim motions towards the pile of make-up.
“You're perfect” she adds planting a gentle kiss against Cheryl's neck.
“Hardly” the Geordie replies smiling shyly, the combination of those dimples and deep brown eyes making Kimberley go weak inside.
“All I want to do is make you happy, after all the sh!t you went through with As..”
“Nu-uh, don't spoil it by saying his name” Cheryl silences her softly, placing a finger against Kim's full lips, “it's just about us now”
“I know, it took us long enough to get here” replies Kim sighing, reflecting on the night that eerything changed forever....
It was only when she looked back concentrating purely on the small things that she realised how long the feelings had been building within her, packed in and locked away tightly like a Pandora's box of emotions. Ironically, just like with the infamous box, hope was the one notion she could never let out. Not even for a second.
After countless sleepless nights, head filled with thoughts of Cheryl's face, voice, smell, touch, Kimberley's hope stayed cowering and inert concealed beneath layers of false smiles and answers, through gritted teeth, of how, yes, Cheryl really was her best friend forever. Best friend, forever – a thought that had once made her so happy now held no comfort – instead it sickened her being so close yet so far.
On her darkest days she felt as though she had been unwittingly entered into some warped game, she was the loser, her consolation prize Cheryl as best friend, forever. Everything else was perfect, money, success, fame, glamour – Kimberley felt as though she would be wholly selfish to complain.
So when the guilt of her own perceived pity wallowing became too much she plastered on another smile and found a new cause to devote herself to.
Breast Cancer Haven, the High Heel-A-Thon, even Mount *Ducking* Killimanjaro, although the last was largely a pleasure/pain affair due to her companion, Cheryl. Even when completing her penitent mission - “giving something back” - as she explains to the interviewers, media trained even as the very source of her exsquisite torment is right there beside her.
Cheryl is oblivious it seems to Kimberley's desperate need, an incessant longing to strip away this disingenuous mask, to be done with the fallacy that has been slowly consuming her life ever since she realised her feelings for Cheryl went way beyond simple friendship.
