Glowing in the Dark

They're rappers

The next couple of days were mad. My face was everywhere. On every channel, every magazine. My audition was shown on the news and every entertainment programme. People were speculating on who I was, where I came from, how I’d got on the X Factor. I was still up on cloud nine making the most of the high and the daze of being through and the recent fame. I knew it wasn’t going to last and I’ll soon go back to being a nobody but I made the most of it Evie by my side the whole time.

I got through bootcamp alright and ended up at Cheryl Cole’s house. I was delighted to have Cheryl. I loved her. I worked hard every day with the coaches to try and make it to the next round.

Evie had pep talked me when I started to freak out. I’d settled on going with the flow. Working as hard as I could to go as far as I could and see where it took me. She was right, this was my dream and I’d better give it my best shot. I’d regret it my whole life if I didn’t.

To say I was terrified would be an understatement. All the people here had worked their asses off for their place here and knew what they were doing. They had trained for this whereas this was pure luck for me. They all deserved their place here and they were ready to fight for it. Cheryl was so nice and understanding with me it gave me more confidence but it also made me feel guilty.

The others didn’t seem to care or mind that I got on with no hard work and I got on pretty well with all of them. It was fun. It was like having a huge family reunion of relatives you haven’t seen in a long time. I wouldn’t know about real family reunions because I don’t actually have a family. I’m an only child and my dad died when I was 7. We used to be a happy family but when my dad got killed in a car accident everything changed. A part of me died inside and my mother lost it. She died when my father did. From that day on she was constantly between alcohol and anti-depressants not having a care in the world for her daughter. She ignored me most of the time and only talked to me when she needed something done.

That’s when I met Evie. She was the popular kid and for some reason we ended up being friends. I don’t know how that happened since I’d always been the quiet one in the corner but it just did. Evie is my family and her mum is like an Auntie for me. Evie’s mum was the one who saved me the embarrassing day where I got my first period. She’s the one who took me bra shopping for the first time. She did everything my mum should’ve done.

All this to say my mum couldn’t actually give a damn that I’d made it. She probably hadn’t noticed it was me on her TV screen. She’ll probably come running to me once the money starts coming in.

Things started going downhill at Cheryl’s house though when she and the other judges realised what I’d known all along: I don’t have enough stage presence to entertain 5000 people alone. Cheryl suddenly dropped all affection or consideration for me and concentrated on the other acts. She looked at me with reproachful eyes making me feel even guiltier. I didn’t deserve my place here and I was wasting her time. She knew I wasn’t going to make it through the first round so she just gave up on me. I still felt betrayed because she’d been my only rock to hold on to since Evie wasn’t allowed in with me. Little is it to say that when Cheryl called me into her office one day I was shaking in apprehension as I knocked on the door.

“Come in Emma” she called. I slowly opened the door to reveal Cheryl, Simon, Alesha and Louis looking at me. I hung my head low knowing I had disappointed them.

“Okay, I’m going to make this simple Emma” Simon started in a business like tone which made me look up. I could deal with an impersonal angle of the situation. “You and I both know you couldn’t handle a big crowd on your own” I nodded seriously to that agreeing to him. He looked surprised probably expecting me to argue with him but kept going. “I’ve found an act on the X Factor US who needs a better image and more fans. I was thinking you all could get together and try it out. I think, and the others agree with me, that your voices would sound incredible together.” The other judges nodded in approval. “What do you think?” he asked looking ready to face my arguments and pleas.

“It sounds like a good idea. I’m ready to work on that issue though but I know I’ll never be able to handle a big crowd like solo artists do. The thing is, do they really want an addition to their band? Are they okay with that?” I said unsure.

“There’s only two of them Crystal Reeks and Shannon Bykes...”

“Okay...?” I said unsure. What was coming next?

“They’re rappers” Alesha blurted out. Simon and her were the only ones who actually seemed to give a fuck. Cheryl seemed to have lost interest and Louis couldn’t care less as I wasn’t one of his acts.

“What? Rappers? You can’t be serious...You don’t want me to rap do you??” I asked alarmed. I might as well just go home.

“No” Simon soothed me. “They’d be rapping and you can sing with them.”

“So kind of like Linkin Park do?”

“That’s it, so what do you think?”

“If they’re happy with it let’s do it!” I said feeling the excitement build up inside me. I couldn’t believe I was going to meet American girls!!! I couldn’t help but hope we’d have a relationship similar to what Little Mix have. I might make real friends I can actually count on. Evie had been my best friend for years but she was ignoring me when I needed her the most. She wasn’t answering her phone or any of my texts and hadn’t called back once.

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