WONDERLAND

Part IX. Dreaming Alone

“the story starts where the story falls apart with you,” --Against The Current

V’s POV

“I am not the man you think I am,” Rapmon wholeheartedly blurted out garnering cringes and laughs from all of the members except me. Even Rapmon hyung’s cringe-worthy acting can’t take away the unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“What are y’all laughing about?” Rapmon hyung asked. The members continued laughing as Rapmon continued on showing off his so called ‘actor face’. This crazy hyung took to heart Doni and Coni hyung’s endearment of him Rapmon from the stars, right now, he probably thinks he’s Kim Soo Hyun or something.

All of us are gathered in the MBC conference room for our first script reading. The was like a wriggling worm all the way here. I just can’t keep myself still like an ADHD kid who has eaten too much sugar. We were already given scripts and the designated characters we would play yesterday. Jimin was quite pleased about his role. He plays a troublemaker which he thinks would suit his newly upgraded physique (he’s talking about his abs...again)

“Jungkook-ah, what role did you get?” Jimin asked our maknae as he sat closer to him. Jimin always loves sticking close to Jungkook.

“The script just says, ‘a good boy’ I don’t think I’d have any problem portraying that. I’m a good boy to the core,” he bragged --as expected from our golden maknae.

“How about you, V?” Jimin directed the question to me.

“I don’t know, I’ll read it later. I didn’t have any time to read it yesterday,” I lied. I just didn’t feel like reading it even though all I did at the dorm was sleep and watch anime.

I honestly wasn’t interested in reading it. Hell, I wasn’t even interested in coming here today. My body felt like lead this morning its a miracle it cooperated and I managed to take a bath today. When manager hyung told us to prepare for the script reading I felt my heart sank in my chest. Its unprofessional of me, but for a split second I thought of faking sickness just to escape this inevitable day.

I don’t want to see her.

“Are you okay?” Jin asked as he sensed my discomfort. He always senses it. Not only towards me but to all other members. He really is like a mother to us.

“I’m okay, Jin-umma. Stop worrying too much,” I teased him even though he doesn’t want to be called ‘umma’. He stared at me for awhile. He still wasn’t convinced that I was okay.

Suddenly, the room’s big double oak doors opened revealing that Red Velvet was entering the room. My heart beat frantically in sync with their footsteps. I sat down immediately just to stop myself for falling face first on the floor. Shit! What is happening to me?

Red Velvet members greeted us one by one. I saw my members blush---especially Jhope as Seulgi extended her hand for a handshake. I swear I saw his hands tremble a bit. Other Red Velvet members imitated Seulgi and also held out their hand. Well, our kookie here seems to eager to shake Yeri’s hand. That maknae looks like a lovestruck idiot right now.

Being lovestruck? It won’t do him any good, I thought bitterly.

And there she was, the reason for all these unprecented feelings inside me , standing on the back of her members. She was petite and a lot shorter than her other members so it was a bit hard to see her, but still I saw her. I always do. She remained silent with her head bowed down. She only stepped forward to shake hands with us.

Slowly, she approached me and with every step she took my heart beat faster and faster I was worried it would constrict. I don’t want to see her.