WONDERLAND

Part XV: Hold Me Tight

“You still shine, You’re still like a scented flower. Now trust me, now hold me once again.”—Hold Me Tight, BTS.

V’s POV

It had been a year since I last talked to Irene. They all told me it was for the better. I was still receiving cryptic messages from sasaengs saying I shouldn’t even think about talking to Irene or much less even be in the same space as her. Bang PD-nim had been doing his best to track the sasaengs but they were always one step ahead. We couldn’t uncover their identities. I was thankful for the other fans who were much more supportive. They even wished us happiness. It gave me strength. It made me realize that there are a few people out there who still think that idols deserve to live their lives too. That we too, deserve to pursue our own happiness.

But it doesn’t always go as we want it too.

With BTS’s newfound international fame, I was happy to welcome the distraction. The tight schedules stopped me from thinking about her. Traveling around the world and meeting all these wonderful fans who had appreciated our music made me realize that this is what I was supposed to do. I was overwhelmed by all the support. We were nothing but boys with passion for music from this small entertainment agency, we didn’t expect this kind of response.

“Tae Hyung-ah, Bang PD-nim wants to see you in his office,” Manager Hyung-nim pulled me out of my reverie.

“Oh, okay. I’ll be there in a minute,”
I ran out of the studio and hurriedly ran towards Bang PD-nim’s office. I took a deep breath before I knocked on his door.

“Bang PD-nim, Manager-Hyung told me you were looking for me?” I asked.

“ Ah, yeah. Come sit here for a while Tae Hyung, I have something to discuss with you,”

I sat down rather nervously. Bang PD-nim looked so serious, too serious I must say.

“The fans loved your performance in Hwarang and a lot of directors had been telling me that they want to cast you for other dramas. There’s this upcoming romance web drama, there’s also a music video and a movie too with a lot of veteran actors,”

I was too shocked to say anything. I was so flustered and amazed that they had appreciated my efforts. It feels great to be acknowledged for something you worked hard at.

“I’d be honored to, Bang PD-nim. I-I-I’m too shocked right now but I would love to!” I exclaimed rather loudly.

I gained a lot of experience from filming Hwarang and I gained lots of new friends too. Hyung Sik-hyung, Seo Joon-hyung and Min Ho-hyung was really good to me. Since I was the maknae and a newbie in acting, I was really grateful that I have met such supportive Hyungs to teach me all about it.

“Okay, that’s settled. I’ll tell them you’re interested. Once your schedule clears up, I’ll schedule a meeting with them,” Bang PD-nim smiled that fatherly smile of his and sent me on my way.

I was skipping my way back to the recording studio but suddenly stopped. A memory of Irene and I on our first script reading stopped me on my tracks. I remembered her face so clearly on my mind. I would have smiled it wasn’t so sad.

Its been one year. A year full of unexpected twists in my life.

Its been one year.

But I still think of her.

I still think of Irene.

Will there ever come a time when I would stop thinking about her?

Have I ever crossed her my mind too?