I Am The Lie That Keeps You Divine

8.

Mandy's POV

Short chapter, I'm sorry
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"Yeah. And I'll be honest with you... I..." I said, trying to get the words out but the end of my sentence didn't want to come out.

"You what?" He asked.

"Nothing. It's not important" I said, trying to avoid further complications.

"Then why'd you try bring something up?" He asked.

"It's something I'd prefer not to talk about here. Plus... It's stupid" I said.

"Come on, tell me" he said. I sighed.

"I-" I began to speak before I was rudely cut off by the waitress throwing down our food.

"Thanks" Ryan said.

"Whatever" the bitchy waitress said before walking off.

"Bitch" I said.

"Anyway... What were you saying?" He asked.

"I... I... I really look forward to speaking to you some more" I said. No. That's not what I wanted to say!

"Really? That's all you wanted to tell me?" He asked, retaining a laugh.

"No." I said.

"Then tell me, you wanted to say something, now tell me" he said.

"I was gonna say... I... Loved you m-more than I love Zeke and I've been with him for almost a year and a half" I said, blushing deeply.

"Isn't that telling you something?" He asked.

"Yeah but I want this to work with him" I said.

"I mean if you don't love him all that much, you can't force it" he said.

"I mean. I love him but... I don't love him nearly as much as I loved you" I said.

"You still love me?" He asked, his eyes lighting up. Did he not hear the 'd' at the end of 'loved'?

Of course, I still care about him. I feel as if once you really care for a person, you'll always care about them a little bit, even if you hate them.

But why did his eyes light up? We've both moved on. There's no reason he should be happy that he thought I said that I still loved him.

"No. I said 'loved' as in past tense" I said. The light that was just in his eyes, dimmed down and he seemed sad.

"Oh. Okay." He said.

"You don't love me, do you?" I asked, making sure I didn't hurt his feelings.

"I don't see why it should matter. We've been broken up for two years." He said.

"Just answer the question, Ryan" I said before I took a bite out of my food.

"I don't know how I feel about you Amanda. I thought I was over you, but then you came back and I feel all these emotions come back. I'm confused." He said. I don't know what to say.

"Oh" I said.

"I hope that doesn't affect the chance of us having a friendship" he said.

"It won't" I said.