I Am The Lie That Keeps You Divine

15.

Mandy's POV

A few days later

-

I made a doctor's appointment the day after the whole confusion that the pregnancy tests brought me sprung about.

Today is the day of my appointment.

I'm going to tell the doctor about the whole one positive test and one negative test thing.

Hopefully, if she does have me do another pregnancy test, it'll come out negative.

If it does come out negative, I'm not opening my mouth about any of this to Zeke. He'll be pissed.

I don't think I'll tell Ryan either. I mean... If it's positive, I will.

I'm still fucking pissed at Ryan for getting pissy with me and hanging up on me because I got back with Zeke. He knew that we couldn't be together.

Sure, I'd love if we could be together but we can't and we have to accept that. It'd end how it did last time. My dad will find out and kick Ryan out of the band again.
I'm pretty sure my dad would disown me if he found out I went behind his back like that again. But... I guess I technically did when I was there for his wedding because I hooked up with Ryan.

"Amanda Dudley!" A nurse called. Oh yeah. That's still my last name... Legally...

I got up and followed her.

-

The doctor's in here now. The nurse took my vitals, height and weight and asked me those stupid routine questions, left and the doctor came in about fifteen minutes later.

"Okay... Ms. Dudley, I understand you haven't had a period since October third and you took two home pregnancy tests and they had different results?" The doctor asked, clarifying the information given to her.

"Yes ma'am" I said.

"Have you had any nausea and vomiting, random mood swings, increased urination, tender or swollen breasts, fatigue, or weird food cravings?" She asked.

"No" I said.

"Okay... Those are the primary symptoms of pregnancy but I understand that not all women have those symptoms when they're pregnant... So I'm just going to have you provide a urine sample and we'll test it to see if you're pregnant" she said.

"What if it's negative?" I asked.

"We'll talk about that when it comes time to talk about it" she said as she handed me a cup to piss in.

"The restroom is right down the hall to the right" she told me.

I nodded and walked out of the room and made my way to the bathroom.

-

I pissed in the cup and now I'm just waiting for the results.

Speaking of which, the doctor just came in.

"Ms. Dudley... I have the result of your pregnancy test" she said.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Positive." She said.

No. No. No.

I can't be a mom. I just can't. I'm not at a place in my life to be a mom.

Ryan can't father the child and it isn't Zeke's, so... I'm fucked.

"O-okay. Thank you" I said.

"I suggest making an appointment with a gynecologist as soon as possible, for obvious reasons" she said.

"Alright, have a nice day" I said.

"You too" she said, shaking my hand.

I walked out of the room.

I sped walked out of the building and out to my car.

I unlocked my car and got in.

I started it up and started crying at the wheel.

How am I gonna tell Ryan?

How am I gonna tell Zeke?

More importanly, how am I gonna tell my dad? How am I gonna tell him that his lead guitarist knocked me up?

How am I gonna finish school with a child? God I sound like such a high schooler right now.

I might as well be one. I act like one. So why not be one again?

I dug my phone out of my pocket and called Zeke. I can't lead him on like this. I need to tell him everything.

He picked up on the first ring, almost like he was waiting for me to call.

"Hey baby" He answered.

"Hey..." I said sadly.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Are you home?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?" He asked.

"Just... I'll tell you when I get there" I told him.

"Um... Okay, see you later, I guess" he said.

"Bye" I said before hanging up.

Tears spilled out of my eyes as I began to drive.

-

I apologize for this cliché.

-Bri