Don't Go, Po

Chapter Five

     I was terrified that Baby terio would get raped, while looking like that??? Damn cockatoo TF. Still love him tho. I made my way to pet smart and got a prairie dog leash with spikes around the choker for baby terio so he is safe in my mother bear tentacles. On ourway there, we almost ran over steve Harvey, who at the moment was crowning the wrong miss universe. Po and I exited the tubbymobile to see what happened. All of a sudden, pixie dust formed around steve Harvey's mustache. It's a horoscope! He wakes up and murmurs.. "Feed me carrots and I will grant you 3 wishes." We shove carrots up his bootyhole on Christmas Eve. Steve Harvey finally regains strength and hops back on his Barbie unicycle. "Okay y'all want your wishes or not!" Steve Harvey steals my megaphone and yells through it. Before considering his wishes, Po is urged to ask about Jeffrey because is jealous. "So steve.. what does Jeffrey have up his sleeve?" Po the poet rhymed on accident in an unknown Hebrew tongue. Steve replied, "Oh that lip sync viner I love him. I facebook all his vines. He's also my favorite president! But anyways, I heard he jus be chillin with his shades on not givin a damn with this hooligan terio, apparently he's from shit head county and is not to be trusted. Apparently they are out to get a tubby with dyslexia who birthed a shrek baby with ranch testacles" Steve screamos. Po makes out a squeaky sound and is diagnosed by Gidget immediately with small pox. "Rest in peas!" Steve Harvey says as he pours peas into his cottage cheeseburger. Steve softly closes his eyelids and surrounds Po with flowers while slipping his lingerie over Po's breasts. "I ain't dead and I'm allergic to peas you stupid ass bitch ass!" Po screams. Steve Harvey pukes and regains consciousness. "So.. What wishes y'all want?" Steve asks. "Well Belela and I are moving in a small loft in New York City working at a salon for neutered shrek children from the ages of 4-12, so I think a year's worth of indentured servants who are master chefs in the studies of macaroons would do is just fine. #macaroonsforlife... Aren't we banana stick?" Po winks at belela's half shaven fungi on her wedding ring toe. "We aren't moving in together yet I like the private and staring at the rayn and watching tubby storms abroad" Belela remarks. Belela blurts her second wish out as a burp. "I want baby terio to be a vegan and trained as a professional vegan by Michelle Obama". "Okay, y'all want a third wish?" Steve Harvey asks. "No thanks" Belela and Po say in unison. "Okay I guess". As steve was unicycling away, I suddenly come up with my last wish. "Steve! We want safety from Terio, Jeffrey, Donald Trump, Isis, Bob Ross, the staff at Hobby Lobby, and Stan from dog with a blog!" I whisper as loud as I can. Steve quickly rotates his head 360 degrees and squirts out, "Yee Yee!" and hits Po in the nuts with his saliva filled canteen and rides on his penny board into the moonlight. All of sudden, I look down and see Baby terio speed skates into the sky grunting as loud as he can. I see him attempt to lynch a strange tubby, but what is it?  A bird? A plane? It's terio on a broomstick! Lmao Why is he here? He cackles like a witch, and spells out "Oo Kill Em" with his excess broom gas exhaust. We crawl as we four square to the nearest weenie hut junior. We arrived at exactly 4:19am. Why does god hate me???? ALL I WANTED WAS TO VAPE WITH 4:20 ON MY SNAPCHAT STORY. Oh shitters! Baby terio was still in the sky trying to lynch his daddy Terio! I gotta go help it (Baby terio has no gender). I four square back to to the weenie hut parking lot. The tubby mobile was park in the handicapped spot because I ran out of ranch dressing because we are free rebel spirits. I do what I want. #flowerchildofgod. Po and I see a trail of #JEMSforlyfe leading to a pile of emoji shit. We inch closer and closer to the shit and lift the hinge of it. It turns out to be the Jack Daniels Distillery unit. We slither down the Lego ladder of minecraft diamonds. Good thing I'm wearing ma crocs! I splashed around in the mushy potato ground of the distillery. I take off my crocs revealing my webbed feet. I feed my crocs to the neutered Shrek laborers swimming in Hebrew national whiskey hot dog grease. Right as I am about to feed the less fortunate, baby terio drops down on a bungee cord and snatches my crocs. Po grows testi-wings and flies into the air, grabbing Terio's shock collar and my left ballsack covered in cumin pepper and white chocolate. My mother bear instincts kick in and I smack baby Terio reprimanding him with my moist tentacles. Po hobbles over to me and gives me a Brazilian wax. It feels nice. I drench him in a waterfall of based jesus to return the favor. He licks my armpits and buys me a keychain from the Jack Daniels merch store to thank me. Finally, we waltz throughout the distillery, it is filled with thanksgiving fixings (YOU NAAAAAMMMMEE IT!). The thanksgiving turkey leads us to a path leading into two opposite directions. "DANGER:WINCHESTER,FRANKLIN" and "SAFE:TUBBYLAND" We take the danger route. It'll probs come in c l u t c h 🅱️.