I think back now, and I wonder what happened
Why I felt so sad
Why I thought it was my fault
I feel so bad for the people I hurt
I accused someone but I wasn't sure
I have nightmares of those days
Is it bad that I never told
Is it bad that I lied to my mom
I guess it doesn't matter, they would never believe me
My brother thinks I always lie
He tells me secrets but doesn't trust me
I blocked out so much and now I can't remember
Was there one man or more
In the end there's nothing I can do
In the the end it must have been true
I think I must have known those men
Enough to let them in and trust them
But now that I think of how my mom would see me
And it makes me sad to think how mad she'd be with me
I tried to talk about it but I guess there's no helping me
The voices in my head say I deserve all this hostility
