Brad woke to loud knocking on his door. “Give me a minute,” he called sleepily.
“Brad Brad Brad Brad Brad Brad Brad,” the voice insisted.
“What?” Brad asked, walking out of his bedroom and going to the front door.
“It’s James! You left your phone at my house yesterday,” James replied.
“Thanks, but you could have brought it to me later,” Brad said, opening the door. “You didn’t need to come over and wake me up just to give me back my phone.”
“But I saw that you were texting a girl named Caroline,” James replied. “Is that the girl you met at the club on Saturday? Are you going to see her?”
“James, I swear, sometimes you’re a middle school girl,” Brad stated.
“And I want to know about this Carrie girl!” James insisted.
Brad just sighed.
"Please tell me you’re going on a date with her," said James.
"No, I'm not, we're friends and she's been really cool," Brad replied. "She seems to understand me."
"So date her!" James exclaimed, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"James, not everything is about girls," Brad said.
"Look, I get it, it's just that I think you really deserve a girl," James responded. "I can tell you've been down recently - though I don't know why - and I think a successful date could really lift your spirits."
"Well, maybe. But I don't want to date Carrie and she doesn't want to
date me," Brad said.
"Alright," James gave in. "I'm totally willing to help you - whenever. You know that right?"
"Yeah, you're my best mate James," Brad replied. "I can count on you."
Some things are hard for Brad. Some things he doesn't even understand. Brad's lucky that he has three guys who will always stand by his side, even if he doesn't understand his feelings toward one of them.
----------------------------------------------------
The band went for a practice session at 4:00. They chose a few songs they were interested in covering and laid out some music. The first one they chose was Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus.
Brad knew the melody and he just needed the lyrics. Connor's bass part didn't take long to figure out, so Brad and Connor were watching the others and helping them out from time to time.
James had to look at the chords, riffs, and any solos.
Tris had to choose which drum or drum set (or pots and pans) he was going to use, find the basic beat, and, being Tris, add his own twist to it.
Brad looked over the lyrics. They reflected what Brad was going through - except he thought of a "he" instead of a "she." He had suggested the song because he believed he could make a great performance with this one. Brad imagined that if he had his own experiences and emotions in the song, it would turn out great.
They practiced parts of the song, and Brad really liked it. He liked the moment they were in, but that moment soon ended.
"I've got a date in a half hour guys," Tristan said with an excited smile.
"Dude, that's great!" Connor exclaimed.
"So awesome!" Brad added, masking his disappointment. I'm really going to have to think about my feelings later, he thought.
"Where are you going?" James asked.
"We're going to the movies, maybe grab some pizza - casual first date
stuff," Tristan replied.
"Well you better get going," Connor suggested.
"Yep," Tris agreed. "See you later!"
---------------------------------------------------
At eight, Brad was in his room on his phone. He had his earbuds in, listening to music, when Tristan's favorite song came on. Brad's mind immediately flew to the happy dance and exaggerated lip syncing that Tris always did when he heard the song. Soon enough, Brad had tuned out the music and was just thinking about Tris.
Brad really liked Tris - more than he thought he should. He had had these feelings before, when he had a girlfriend two years ago. Now, Brad didn't see the appeal in girls, and it confused him.
At least he was out of denial.
Brad had been thinking about his sexuality, and the word really scared him.
He knew what bisexual and gay were, but he wasn't sure which category he belonged to. He knew he used to like girls and enjoy the time he spent with them, but now he didn't want to date one.
Despite the crushes and girlfriends Brad had had, he never imagined himself spending the rest of his life with one. He had assumes it was because he was too young and he hadn't found the right girl.
He could imagine himself with Tristan.
From being on Youtube, Brad had often come across youtubers and watched their videos. Tyler Oakley had caught his eye, and he watched a few of his videos. Brad actually enjoyed it a lot, and related to Tyler. However, Brad didn't think many straight guys liked this, and he didn't feel like a straight guy when he watched Tyler.
Well, all of this makes me gay, he thought.
