you know what's sad? seeing someone you love slowly kill themselves. Ive been watching my father slowly waste his life away by smoking. its getting so bad that i hear him coughing in the middle of the night and it sounds like he's choking. I love my dad very much and watching him do this to himself is just horrible. Ive told my dad many times how it just pains me to see him in such bad condition, but he is too addicted. He's tried to quit before and while he was doing it he was so proud of himself and told me that he had only smoked 5 cigarettes that day. Everyday when i got home from school he would tell me his progress and it would just make me so happy, i'd get a huge smile on my face. But then something went wrong and instead of getting better and smoking less, he just went back to the way he was before. I hear him get up sometimes in the middle of the night just to go out for a smoke. He gets angry when he can't find his cigarettes and he just gets grouchy when he doesn't smoke. I know he wants to quit and i know it hurts him that he cant, he knows its hurting his family too, but i think he is just in too deep. He regrets ever starting to smoke, he would be so much better without it. I don't know what i would do without my dad and i never want to imagine my life without him, but he is getting worse, you can hear it in the breaths he breathes in and out and the horrible coughs. I'm scared to lose him and i constantly think about it. I don't want to lose him because of some stupid cigarettes, he means way too much to me.
love you dad...
