Escaping This Life

You know that quiet girl that sits in the back of the classroom that nobody notices?

Well that's me.

As soon as I hit sixth grade, things changed. Girls got girlyier and boys got manlier. Somewhere between those two groups is me. I haven't fully transformed into whatever those girls call themselves nowadays, putting on crazy outfitts and weird hairstyles. I dont care about my reputation, or weather or not I dont have friends. The only thing I actually care about is my drawings.

No, im not some crazy talented artist.

I draw patterns, and create pretty pictures on my canvas, which are my thighs and wrists.

"Why do I do it?" You ask?

Its like biting your nails, and smoking cigarettes.

Its a crazy addiction, and there's nothing anybody can do about it, but me.

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The bell rung to my last class of the day, and I withdrew a sigh of relief.

Annie, my bully was absent today, and I was thankful.

She didn't know I cut, and I doubt any of the school has noticed. It was wintertime, so wearing long sleeves wasnt hard.

I shut my locker door, and headed down E-Wing, where the exit door was when I was stopped by Elizabeth Caldwell. I have never talked to her, but she was a loud, obnoxious girl, who thought she had the world in her palm.

"Listen, umm whatever your name is. You're in my science class right?" She asked, with that devious smile on her face.

I shook my head yes, shocked to see her talking to me.

"Well do me a favor. please stop being weird and staring into space. Because honestly its creepy enough that you are in my class." she turned around before turning back around, "Oh, and stop staring at Kendall. Hes mine." Then she stalked off the other way, and turning right near the exit sign.

Kendall.

Kendall Logan Peterson. Everybody wanted him, even me, which was a first. But everybody clearly knew Elizabeth was with him. He was tall, with brown hair, sparkling blue eyes and a smile with a dimple on each cheek. He was perfection. Girls practicality drooled over him all the time. So why out of everybody, did she pick me to ask to stop staring at him?

I exited the school, and walking down the road to go home. This was my usual schedule.

It was obvious I had depression, anybody could've guessed that.

I didn't come this way, people transformed me into this weird socially awkward person, and they all look at me as if its my fault.

And I go home thinking, everyday:

"Why do you try? Can you give up now? You're fat, you're useless, you're ugly and nobody wants you. Just kill yourself."

And sometimes I had wished I would.

My names Syndey Bullon, im 15 years old, and this is my story.