Trust Again

Chapter 20

Harry's POV:

“Ready for this” she screamed “ready for you touching me like that” she threw her hands over her head, tears were running down her cheeks “I don't even know what I'm doing here, I don't even know you”

I reached out for her hands, trying to make her relax but she flinched away, crying harder.

She looked scared as her eyes met mine again and I couldn't tell if she was scared of my reactions or scared of what just happened. I couldn't hide the fact that it hurt me when she told me, that she didn't even know me. I wish she would know me better, I'd wish we could talk, I want her to know me, the real me. She put her face into her small hands, slowly sliding down the door as she sat down on the ground pulling her knees onto her chest. Her body was shaking from the sobs which left her body.

I didn't know what to do, she just told me she wasn't ready for me to touch her, she just told me I don't know her. Actually I know her, I know her very well, but she didn't know that. I was too scared to tell her everything, too scared of her reaction, too scared to lose her even though she was never mine.

I took a deep breath as I looked down at her again, my heart was slowly breaking as I saw her sitting on the ground, crying. I had to admit she still looked amazing, her red-brown her fell down wavy her perfect shoulders. It hurt me seeing her like this, knowing that I was the reason she was crying. I actually thought she enjoyed it, she was kissing me back, she was playing with my hair and she let me kiss her.

I quietly cleared my throat, she didn't react. She was still crying really hard into her knees, her body was shaking.

“Do you want me to leave?” I managed to ask her, my voice was nothing more than a whisper.

She ignored me and I tried to hide the sad tone in my voice as I asked her again.

“Millie, do you want me to leave?”

She still didn't react and I walked towards the door, ready to push down the doorknob, aware of the fact I had to push her away from the door first. I tried to open the door as I heard her soft voice.

“Please don't leave”

I was shocked at her demandbut relieved that she wanted me to stay at the same time.

I stood there watching her, not moving I was holding my breath curious about her next move. She slowly lifted her head up, showing her red eyes, her make-up was all over cheeks and her eyes still filled with tears.

“I don't want to be alone...again” her voice broke and again she buried her face against her knees.

I slowly sat down beside her, taking a deep breath as I touched her arm she flinched away. I was confused, confused by her actions. That girl was driving me insane. I wanted to hug her, shake her softly, tell her that everything would be alright but she was scared of me, she was obviously really scared of me. But then at the same time she wanted me to stay. I took another deep breath and buried my face into my hands, sitting there next to her not knowing what to do.

I noticed that her sobs slowly started to become less, and she was able to breath steady again. I didn't move, I was too afraid to scare her again. My mind traveled back to the events before. I could still feel her lips on my mine and I realized that I wanted her so bad. Whenever her body moved, I wasn't able to look away. Whenever her green-gray eyes were locked with mine, I got goosebumps. Whenever she spoke, I never wanted her to stop. She was perfect, perfect but broke. I knew I acted the wrong way, I should have stopped before we got too far, but her body was driving me insane. I couldn't fight the urge to touch her, I have never even felt so much emotions during a simple kiss. She was special, I needed her and I would do anything to make her realize that she needed me too.