What If (Liam Payne) {After plot twist} (HIATUS)

Eight

Tessa's POV

I couldn't distinguish what I felt that night. Was it love? Hell no! Only if it's Harry. Was it joy? Of course it was. I was craving for this type of fun since forever...from Harry. I was grinning the whole time. I couldn't get him out of my mind since that dream. I literally felt his breath tickling my bare skin and his sweet voice when trying to reassure me. I felt the warmth from the dream filling me from head to toe. I was all nostalgic and getting chills all over again. The hangout with Liam was amazing..only that I was picturing Harry instead of him the whole time!

Now a week had passed and I haven't spoken a complete sentence to Liam. I pity him..and myself. I don't want to use him or reassure myself while he thinks otherwise. I don't even know what he thinks. When I linked my arm in his it felt comfortable. At least for me! Does he think the same? I'm too confused and not stable mentally to think of what others think right now.

I'm grateful that Liam took the time actually to calm me and drive me out of my mad state but now I can't act spontaneously around him. It's not fair for him. I hope he understands. I don't want to use his friendship because I'm already staying at his house. I know he will understand that my heart still waves and I haven't made up my mind about anything. Have I? I know I said I am over Harry but it's not that easy. It's actually totally the opposite. After I had that dream, it's like Im on the first step of the ladder again.

The rest of the week was all routine for me. I drove to my job or school in the morning and didn't have my usual coffee with Liam at the cafeteria. At home, I also ignored him in the evenings and went back straight to my room. In the dinner time, I never made eye contact with him and spoke little only when spoken to.

The reason is that I feel embarassed. So embarassed that I blush whenever I see him. I know we are bestfriends but I can't ignore the fact that I imagined him as Harry and linked our arms together. Liam doesn't even deserve me. Even I myself am taking advantage of him and I'm not proud of it. Not that he will doubt me when I linked my arm in his, I know he doesn't think of me that way.

During this week, a Wednesday night at around midnight, I walked downsairs after many attempts and failures to sleep. My eyes were puffy and surrounded by scaring dark circles and my hair was in a high messy bun. I made my way to the kitchen and poured a glass of water. The view from the window distracted me a little bit from my state. Moon light shined bright and lit the iced river outside. I could perfectly see its reflection on the river, a wavy line was drawn all along the round river. Opening the the window I inhaled the freezing cold air and as if it instantly washed away my worries.

An indistinguishable noise disturbs my calm mood. I was silent for a moment, my ears trying to detect the source of the noise. Another noise was heard short afterwards and it made me jump. This time it was clear. It was clear that it is the sound of a glass falling to the floor. I followed the source of the noise on the tips of my toes arriving at the big library at the end of the corridor. There is someone inside because the light is on and there is some noise too. When I came closer to the door, I couldn't hear anything specific.

My curiosity was getting the best of me. What if it's Harry? My subconscious tells me and my eyes instantly round bigger. I couldn't help but push the door open so I can steal some glances.

I gasp when I see Liam sitting at the big square desk with a bottle of wine in front of him. I cover my mouth with my hands to mute my gasp.

A bottle of red wine is sitting in front of him alongside an empty glass. Is he drinking? Liam doesn't usually drink. I rotate and move to see a glass shattered on the floor and red stains covering the pure white carpet. I move my vision back to him and his hand is now on the bottle. He has his other hand on his cheek and his eyes look sleepy.

Why is he drinking? Does he have problems? Is Danielle calling him again? But if so why doesn't he talk to me about it? Have I done anything wrong to him? Have I? Yea I know I'm avoiding him the whole time but I can't help it. I have to.

As I am endorsed in my thoughts, I see him pour a glass of wine and my heart starts racing. I don't want him to drink. He's too good to drink. But again, I'm too good to drink too yet I do it when I want to. I can't stop him. At least I'm not the one...

The moment he brings the cup to his mouth, my phone vibrates in the pocket of my pijamas making me jump in my place, involuntarily pushing the door.

I look behind me before running and see that Liam didn't move an inch. The drink must've had its effect since he didn't even hear the creak of the door. Phew.

I head towards the stairs and I can swear that the loud pounding of my heart filled the air. I walk run to my room , close and lock the door behind me and slide down sitting my back to it.

Why is he drinking? I still don't get it. And most importantly why doesn't he talk it out to me? Am I not his bestfriend? Is it that personal? Is it about Danielle? It better be not. I don't know what kind of problems that will get Liam to drink.

I wait until my breath and heartbeats turn to normal to read the text message I received. As soon as it reads Harry on the home screen my heart beat starts racing again. The text reads:

I know I'm an asshole for coming and behaving the way I did. But i I also know I'm an asshole for letting you go. And I won't let it go any further. Please Tessa give me one last chance. I'll be in my apartment the whole Sunday. Please come and let me explain myself. If you come then I know there is still a chance for us. Good night Tessa.

Tears fight their way out and I can't help it. I hug my knees while on the floor and let th phone drop on the floor. I feel miserable all over again.

He always makes me miserable one way or another. He always finds a perfect way to do so. Be it through a text message or a dream. Why am I so unlucky? Can't I have a good boyfriend who can love me unconditionally?

You had Noah remember? My subconscious adds and I want to slap her for always being a bitch.

I felt lost for the rest of the week. Without Liam and without Harry also. His text wrecked me. I came back to that state where I think of him all day long and think of what he is doing now and why doesn't he show up in classrooms.

I ended up having headaches and little appetite to eat anything. The only thing I remember is sitting on the dinner table across Karen and drawing circles with my fork.

Even the circles remind me of the ones he used to draw on my hand.. Ugh

I went shopping on Saturday morning since I don't have classes neither work to do. It's been a long time since I last treated myself. I ended up buying a pair of black jeans and a grey sweater. I guess my mood influenced my choice. I put them on and tucked my old skirt and T-shirt inside the bag.

The shop I was in is close to our ex apartment and again my curiosity won and I drive slowly past it. I huff when I see his car in the front of it. Harry's car is here. Harry is here. I check my phone to see if it's Sunday. It's not.

What is he doing here? I pull on the side of the road and stare at his car. I feel nervous all of a sudden. Why am I nervous? I'm not going in there. He said come on Sunday. But why is he here?

I surprise myself by opening the door, my mind and heart still quarrelling. The wind blows in my face and it feels so cold. So cold but I can't feel it..I can't feel my face..I can't feel anything. Only the presence of Harry warms me up. My eyes water but I try my best to stop them as I head upstairs...

Hey guys. What do you think will happen?
Are you enjoying the events I'm creating? Am I taking too long to make Liam and Tessa be together?
Vote and comment if you like it :)