Before the Frozen Horror...

Entry #3

~September 10th~

Dear journal, it's getting worse.
He followed me when I was walking to school, he was waiting at the end of my street, just around the corner. He was waiting for me. I didn't see him at first, but as soon as I turned the corner, he grabbed me by the back of the collar on my shirt. I tried to escape, but that didn't help me. He swung me to the ground and I slid across the dirty gravel. I still have scratches and cuts from it, but, it was only this morning.
All through the day he was tripping me and shoving me and dragging me and grabbing me. It was annoying and terrible. He's just, I don't even know how to describe him.
But it's my fault, I can't stand up to him. I'm too scared to do anything. He has his reasons, I'm not good enough, I'm "scum of the earth" as he says, and he's probably right. He's not going to stop. I'm not going to stand up for myself. I'm screwed in life, not that I'll have much of it though. I'll probably get killed, or left for dead. Or suicide.
I'm only 12 and thinking of suicide, how pathetic am I? I'm just, I'm so pathetic and stupid.
Suicide doesn't seem so bad though, but I'm too chicken. I think I'll just try to sleep. My mom is still on a business trip, and I've been crying for hours. Maybe I won't have nightmares tonight.
  Goodnight journal. Thank you for listening for my pathetic complaining.