Horribly Ever After

Daydreams

Every now and then I find that I need to day dream, to just think about the world and what it could be like and what I want my life to be. Then I snap out of it, realizing and remembering that daydreams aren't reality and reality isn't a dream. 

I'd like to believe in dreaming, to believe in the dreams and the amazing things that my dreams hold, but I find it difficult to even consider that because the world can be so horrible. 

The very second that we get ahold of something beautiful or gorgeous in any way, we destroy it, crushing it and tearing it away from existence. There are humans, but definitely no humanity. Everyone tries their best to pretend they are fine and that the world is an awesome place to be, that we're so lucky and fortunate to live in it. But are we seriously praising the place where torturing and torment takes place and people are dying everyday? The place where 'to love is to destroy'? I day dream because every now and then I need to see what the world would be like if to love was to love and to destroy was to destroy. That's what's written in my brain, in my imagination, my daydreams, the things that might never come true, might never even happen. 

Actually, will never happen. 

There's no pumpkin carriage pulling up in front of my house to take me to a ball, and no talking frog to kiss. Because none of that is real and nothing like that could ever happen in real life, because the second that it did, if it did, the world would crush it in the blink of an eye. Because the world can't stand it. That's one of the reasons I've never had the best day of my life. Because something always happens to throw me off what I've told myself has been great. 

There's always a catch, a price for being happy, so it seems. Daydreams get me away from that, even if it is for a split second. Because that second is the one beautiful thing that can't be destroyed by the world, unless you let it. You can imagine that there's a prince whisking you to adventure on a magic carpet, and unless you want it to, that carpet won't stop flying, and it'll keep showing you wonderful places. 

The world can't crush your imagination, because imagination and dreams are the only things it can't reach, and the world can't crush that carpet. But the world does a lot worse then ruining your imagination and the things you believe in. The world, or society, poisons your mind and the way you think about things and the way you perceive them. 

Suddenly, a poison apple isn't a poison apple, it's something wrong and unnatural that shouldn't exist in the world. It's not fascinating anymore. It's not something that you would be awed to see. It's something you're expected to cast out of your mind. And dreams, well, they aren't anything like that. As Cinderella says, a dream is a wish your heart makes. But that's what confuses me and makes the whole theory hard to understand. 

If a dream is a wish your heart makes, then does it mean that I want everything that I dream? If a dream is wish, does it mean it's all going to come true? And if it all comes true, does it mean that I'm getting everything that I want? I feel like something that powerful and that extreme couldn't happen for a girl like me. I honestly feel like I'm as normal as they get. Like no one could be more boring and more ordinary than me. I keep trying to break free, to get out of this shell and to find something special about myself. But then I realize that there's nothing. Nothing that sets me apart from the world, except maybe my dreams. Maybe the fact that I recognize enough to believe in some greater truth and something better that's out there. 

But then I wonder, what if there isn't anything better and what if there is no truth whatsoever? 

Because in reality the world is deep and dark place to live in. I've always looked for a place that had some beauty and light to it, but I guess I haven't succeeded yet. At least, not in the material world. At least in dreams and daydreams I can can imagine some sort of light and hope in the world, even if it doesn't really exist. 

The world is entirely built from illusions and despite what everyone else says and thinks, illusion makes the world go round. It's not that money and love that affect the world, it's just if we don't believe we see something beautiful and gorgeous, we are afraid. And if we're scared of the world that we live in, there's no point and no reason for us to stick around to deal with it, mush less for the world to stick around. There are people that don't believe in miracles, but my argument is we live on a blue planet in the middle of nowhere that just happens to float and is the only known planet with life. So why the heck don't you believe in miracles? 

Even the mere ability to dream and to daydream and even to sleep and eat are miracles. Just the fact that we exist. True miracles are things like love and heartbreak. It's a miracle to be able to love someone and to be able to feel passion for them and it's a miracle to have that feeling torn from you and for all that passion to fade away. 

And just the fact that the passion can fade away is a miracle. The downsides to believing in miracles are that the miracles never actually happen.

My name is Hannah, and welcome to my story.