Path To Forgiveness

In To Deep

As I got on this stage, I peeped Avant sitting in the front row. I gulped down a clump of spit in my throat, which was a sign of nervous. I never danced for A man who had romantic fantasies of me. I could see on his face he was hurting from me blocking all his calls, I just don't want to find myself seeking help after a heartbreak just like the last.  My last boyfriend name was Sean, Yes Sean Pinsky. Oh, Boy he was something special, A ladies man! I was scared to let him go out the house . Light skin, Brown eyes, 6'1 with A basketball scholarship . My high school sweetheart. My first love actually. I been kicking it with that boy since 6th grade. One day he decided to announce to the whole world he had a appetite for men. Wow!, It was so shocking. I spent days in my room crying trying to reach out to him. He didn't even tell me, I guess we wasn't as close as I thought. I remember the night I found out, which was throughout social media, I went crazy memories flew through my head. He blocked me out of his life the day he decided to renew his life. Well, I can't stop his ways, It just hurts to be there for someone and they push you away so fast. 

Avant looked down as I put my leg over my head. As I climbed around the pole, I seen him grab a bag full of money and yell "Yes, Baby this that dirty money ! Ya'll strippers like this don't you?!" I couldn't believe what he did. I kept dancing as A tear slipped my eye as I got on the floor and hit a split. He then seen my tear drop. "No tears baby, Show daddy some!" 

"Oh, I guess that's that bullshit of a lawyer, we should go flirt with him in front of that bitch face!" said Crystianna. 

"Bruh, You got it !" Said her friend skylar who backed up. 

Crystianna walked over to Avant as I looked fast while people threw money. "Hey, what's your name?" Crystianna asked . "Avant, what about you?" He responded with A question. 

I grew more angry as I grabbed my bag collected my money and ran out the place. He chased me as crystianna yelled, "She won't satisfy you enough baby !" then she ended with a loud laugh. 

He grabbed my arms as I pulled back and I just tore down. Not to know this man enough, and get that sad over seeing him do what he did tonight tells me he may be the one. 

"Listen.....

"No!" I yelled cutting his words short. " Why?! I thought you had to get to me huh ? To throw dirty money at me? Not you man, No! I was depending on you man!"  As he pulled me to him I started pounding on his chest and pushing him back. 

"Is that how it feels Torii ,?! To hurt someone? I know im a lawyer and have big buck, but you don't think I need love too!?"

"From Me!!!? , No no no no no NOOO!!! Look at me! stop lying to me, who are you fooling ? I am nothing......

"But A Human !, and A human makes mistakes. I don't know why you're a stripper, but I know its for a good cause. Stop throwing yourself under dirt every chance you get Torii, !" 

"What is it about me? If I would have not got on that stage to dance that night you came, and you seen another stripper who you thought amazes you then what, ?" I asked .

"Tori.....I...I...

"BYE!" I yelled as I stormed off fast to get to my car. That was by far most the wort feeling I have ever felt . If I known he wouldn't have had an answer, I wouldn't have asked. I looked back when I got to my car door and I seen him standing there, looking like me, only with guilt not hurt. I threw my money in the backseat and drove off. When I arrived at the house, Trevor was outside with Lexii waiting on me. I dried my eyes and got out as I grabbed Lexii. 

"She will no longer be with you !" I yelled as I looked down to Lexii "Have he ever touched you Lexii huh?" I asked. 

"No, Mommy what's strong?"She asked.