The thing that I've noticed about myself is that I trust no one. I don't trust anyone whole heartedly. I think it's because I'm so scared I'll be alone again, and I hate myself. I truly, utterly hate myself. It doesn't mean I don't know I deserve good. Everybody tells me. But I don't believe I do. I hate myself so much. I'm never going to be the best. I'm never going to be special. People tell me I'm pretty, but I'll never be beautiful. I'll never be anyone's favorite. God I just want to be someone's favorite. I want to be loved deeply. I want to be someone you want to make love to, not just fuck. I want you, fully.
