FINMP09

Chapter 9: Where It All Changes

My jelly like legs had returned for an encore as I attempted to pick up my pace. I couldn't stop now. I had already made my big exit, there was no going back now. I don't even know why I ran out of the diner like that. I could have just locked myself in the back room but, of course in classic Finley style I ran away from my problems. My fast paced sprint slowly became a jog as I got closer to a city bus stop on the main road. I checked my surroundings to see if any of my family had chased after me. I didn't see anyone in sight. I sat down on the side of the dirt road looking like a bum. I leaned back on my oversized backpack to stare up at the darkening sky above me. I finally felt relaxed but it was probably just because I cried away my anger for the moment. My apron changed from a crisp white color to a dusty brown mess as I sat on the ground. I tried to wipe off the dust but it seemed glued to it. I sat up from my leaning position and tossed my bag in front of me. I yanked the apron over me and ripped off my name pin first then put it in my pocket. I stuffed the apron in my bag and swapped it out for my black sweatshirt. Finally I could blend back into the shadows where I belonged. I leaned forward and hugged my backpack tightly squishing my face close to the outer material. I wanted to cry out the pain of the last three years but my body had become inept. I lifted my face from my backpack as I began to see a glowing light racing towards me. Maybe I had died and heaven was racing towards me. If I did die it was probably from chronic dehydration. A bulky city bus and come to a stop in front of me and two doors had opened before my feet.

"Excuse me miss, are you getting on the bus?' the older man said. He had a kind face with large black rimmed oval glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. It was hard to see his eyes since the glare on his glasses was so intense. I stared at him stupidly with the most awkward look.

"Um, Ah, how much is the bus fair" I looked at him like I was a deer stuck in headlights. I rolled over on to my knees and slowly got back up from the ground. The driver probably thought I was hitchhiker by my appearance. I looked ragged with my dusty blue pants and my hideously mystery stained face. I still had crusty brown blotches around my face the slightly represented hives. The driver scanned me up and down then gave me a concerned glance.

"Just hop on, no charge" He smiled at me. The smile lines on his face told me that he was one of the only city bus drivers I've ever seen that enjoyed his job. I smiled back and climbed on and took the closest seat to the front that was open. The bus was a ghost town, I didn't see anyone aboard. I perched myself down in the warm bus. Even though I was only outside for about fifteen minutes, the Massachusetts weather made me feel like i was turning into a Finley popsicle. My body slowly unclenched itself as the freezing feeling as it melted away from my body.

" Any particular part of town you would like to be dropped off near miss?" the man shouted over the rumbling of the engine and the heater of the bus. It took me a while to give him an answer. I really did not want to go home. I knew there would be a potential long and serious talk with my mother waiting for me. I couldn't go to my dad's house. I hadn't talked to him in over two months. Who knew if he would even want to see me or give a damn about my situation. My father had not even tried to contact me anyways so why even bother with it. He probably wasn't even home but if he was he would probably be drunk watching some kind of sports team off of his miniature television. I definitely wasn't going to Ollie's work. I figured he was still angry at me over the whole ordeal from the day before, he still hadn't answered a single one of my text messages. I didn't have anywhere to run to or in this case take a bus too. I was a nomad.

"Can you take me to EastField Road please?"

"Sure thing!" he responded. Home. Home was the only place I could go to and lock myself away. I was only going home so I could go and lock myself away into my dungeon of loneliness. The first thing I would probably end up doing would be looking for the closest private school I could apply to. It had been made clear to me that no one wanted me at Roman Jean High School and I certainly didn't want to be there either. The bus driver gradually commanded the bus to stop and turn left and right until I had reached my street corner.

"Enjoy your night miss!" the bus driver shouted once again as he opened up the double doors once more. A blast of cool icy fresh air insulted my face and body as i walked closer to the doorway.

"Thank you for the free ride sir." I turned and waved at him politely. The bus rumbled once more then slowly headed its way down towards the main road. I watched as the bus turned and disappeared behind the houses that lined the main road. I quietly made my way down the street towards my house. I moved at a snail's pace weaving in between the street lights above me wasting away the time I had. At this point I didn't mind wasting away my teen years. By now I just wanted to see how much time I could waste before my mom decides she wants to get me a therapist after that mental breakdown. I eventually made it to my house and to much surprise none of the lights were on. Jackpot, no one would be home other than me, myself and I. I grabbed my keys from the side pocket of my bag and jogged the rest of the way to my house. I opened my front door and looked around at the darkness of my house with the complementary lethal silence that echoed through the house. I didn't even bother turning on any lights, I just ran up stairs to my room in a hurry. I shoved open my door and threw my bag into my closet still not even turning on any lights. I slammed the door behind me and jumped on to my bed. I screamed with anger as I punched my pillow repeatedly and throwing my stuffed animals off of my bed in a bit of rage. All of a sudden my body collapsed and still on my bed with my face buried in my pillow. I flipped myself around stared up at my shadowy dark ceiling. I attempted to try and sleep off all of these feelings and emotions that had been constantly flowing through me for the past hour or so. It didn't work however, this stew of emotions had just flooded every inch of my existence and left a permanent scar on me. While I laid in the dark abyss of my room, I searched through my mind the perfect way to express my inner thoughts. Journaling didn't really work early this afternoon so I crossed that off my mental list. Talking about my situation to another human being never had worked for me. Plus that requires a companion of sorts and I was by myself. I didn't want any companionship either way. I could text Dakota to talk about everything that happened but why even bother. She never even showed up to hang out today so why would she want to even listen to my petty problems. I wish I could talk to someone who actually cared about me or who would actually want to listen to me. The first person who came to my mind was Tyler Oakley. I know Tyler Oakley cares about every single one of his fans and would listen to their problems if he could but it is not like I can pick up my phone and get his hotline blinging. Sometimes I daydream about what it would be like to be internet famous. Having so many people that care about you and want to listen about your hopes and dreams sounded like music to my ears. I then sprouted from my horizontal position on my bed with an idea. An idea that could possibly extinguish this flame that was burning deep inside me. I raced over to my computer and abruptly flung open my laptop. I angrily typed "youtube.com" into my web browser and clicked on the "create a channel" button. The rest is for the history books.