Breathe (On Hold Indefinitely)

December 25, 2015 Night

I clutched at my throat, lungs screaming for air. Strong hands grab at my shoulders, holding me down. I was being drowned. Water fills my lungs and I claw at my attacker, trying to to escape. Every part of me burned, demanding air.

"Lilith. Lilith stop fighting me. Your making it worse." A heavy weight settles over my abdomen and something captures my hands. I can't breath. I try and scream but water fills my mouth.

Oh, God. I'm going to die. I thrash my body with everything I have. "Lilith, stop." My arms began to numb, fireworks exploding behind my eyelids. "Karin, åpne øynene."

My eyes fly open and I cease my struggle. There is no water and I'm not drowning. Alex sits straddling me, still using his forearms to hold mine down. My eyes widen and he moves his hand to cover my mouth, cutting off a scream. Hands free, I push him off of me, rolling off the bed. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I grab a pocketknife off the nightstand, then quickly survey the room, taking in the quiet."Wher-"

"Your dad left for his shift thirty minutes ago and Dylan is staying at Jacob's house until next Sunday." He pauses, raising an eyebrow, before giving me a deadpan stare. "Really, Lilith, a knife. Do you think I'm going to hurt you?" It's almost a trick , like the words he says have nothing to do with the question he asks.

"I woke up to my stalker mounting me, Alex, so yes, I very well may need to protect myself," I grind out. He seems slightly disappointed with my answer. Well too damn bad. 

"You were having a nightmare. You kept thrashing and clawing at your throat, I had to hold you down of you were going to hurt yourself." He begins biting at his lip ring. Mm. No! Bad Lilith. "Honest. What did you think I was doing?" he says, accent thickening. 

If looks could kill, I might actually get a full nights sleep for once. This time I definitely caught the double meaning. "Why are you here?" I ask, tossing the pocketknife back on the dresser. "I thought we agreed that you would leave me alone." 

"That's what you assumed, I never agreed. Besides," he leans back on my bed, playing with my pillow," you and I already have a deal with strict regulations. Including the prohibition of any new deals before the aforementioned's completion." 

"What deal? I don't know what your talking about, not that I ever do, I suppose..." Now I'm babbling, talking more to myself than to him. I stop to find him looking at me like I'M the psycho. "What am I doing, get out of my house."

"You can't force me to leave, it's against the terms of the deal."

Gah, he's so frustrating. Look at him all smug and,and, attractive. Stupid boy. I'm about to punch something. I swear my eye twitches.

He grins.

I explode.

"For the last time, we have no deal." I shout, pushing my hair back in frustration. "Ugh," I grab a pillow off my bed and head for him,"you psychotic, stalkery, piece of...male." I hit him across the face with the pillow. Now THIS is fun.

He lets me beat him with the pillow a couple of times, laughing, before snatching is away from me. I back up quickly as he advances on me. "Hey now, lets not get ugly. I'm sure we can work this out. Find a completely nonviolent solution. Running across my room I know over a stack of books by the closet, tossing once-folded clothes at him as I go. " I mean, really, it was just a pillow." He grabs at me and I jump on the mattress avoiding him. 

We now stand off, face to face, neither making a move. It go left or right, he'll catch me. He pretty tall, wide stance.  I can make it under his legs. "No you can't."

"How-" He lunges at me, taking advantage of my obvious confusion. Holding me, he sits, carefully containing my arms. "Let me go. This is completely unnecessary."

"I was being attacked, I must defend myself." I roll my eyes.

He lets me go, changing topic suddenly. "Tell me about your dream."

"That's a little personal, don't you think? When did my psycho become my psychologist?" 

"Aw, I'm your psycho now." I'm murdering him with my eyes. "What's the worst that can happen. I mean, aren't they just dreams?" His interest looks so genuine, I could almost trust him.

"Fine, whatever." If it gets him to shut up. "I was watching this ship somewhere. It was cold and smelled gross," catching his look I move on,"and there was this blonde guy standing on the deck. I don't know him but he felt familiar. I was still watching him, but I felt like I was him. I could hear his thoughts, feel what he felt. It like I was-" I struggled to find the right word.

"Omniscient," Alex supplied. Stupid foreign boy, speaking better English than me.

"Yeah, but he was remembering something, then suddenly, this massive storm gathers. There's water going everywhere, and lightning. The ship gets overturned by the waves and the guy is thrown into the water." I pause." It was horrible. He..I was drowning and all I could do was feel it. I couldn't break the water and it just kept dragging me down. Every part of me burned for air. God, it was horrible." 

Alex looks torn between happiness and grief.  "It sounds horrific. I'm so sorry." His tone reveals he's settled on happiness. What the heck.

"Why are you apologizing? It was just a dream." 

"I'm apologizing because it was obviously traumatic for you. And, though you don't understand it now, I'm doing you a favor. You'll have more dreams like these soon." He stands up, pulling on those stupid boots, and pauses, looking at me. "I hope you'll tell me when something like this happens again."

I climb onto my bed and sit, watching him. I don't trust him, but I don't distrust him either. Seems to get him to leave at least. He walks out of my room, the stops, holding the door frame."Goodnight, Lilith."

I wait till I hear the door close downstairs. "Night, Alex."

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Okay. I kinda enjoyed writing this part. More interaction between Alex and Lilith. Kinda cute, kinda gross. Feedback is always appreciated.

Thanks for reading, 

DreamingNikol