( Ashton)
Todays been hard, friends have been hard to talk to. Everywhere I turn someone wants to always have drama and I can't deal with it anymore. People are always giving me looks of disgust. No one wants me, I can be surrounded by people and feel so alone. I don't no when, or how this all started, but it leaves me frustrated and unhappy. Sometimes I ask myself why am I here, why are all these people in my life, what would be like if I was someone else. I cry not having answer to my questions. my questions seem dumb to my family and friends.
But one tough question I always seem to ask myself is who will love me, does anybody stay thinking about me, when I'm thinking about them. I can't put myself out there I just can't take that chance of rejection again and again. It kind of makes me think about Sam Smith's song " Not in That Way." I have realized we can't all get what we want. Mother is with her new man and Dad... Well he's gone. they don't speak. It hurts to know all that is gone. My dad doesn't accept me after I came out. I think that's why their not together...
The stars are so bold when surrounding the moon, like little guardians. Maybe a walk around the park would keep my mind from wondering off. The floor is still wet from the rain and the puddles show me a dirty vision of myself. Is that people see me, like a dirty wet version of myself. I sat down on my favourite bench wondering, dreaming, feeling the nights surrounding me. I look down to see the reflection of the puddle looking right back at me. I look to see a nice guy looking at me with beautiful eyes and strong jawline looking at me. My reaction? a pleasing smile..