Genie in a Bottle (Adam Levine & Christina Aguilera / Adamtina)

*Uh, I'm not a big fan of these two, but when I heard 'Genie in a Bottle' on Pandora this morning, I just had to do this, LOL. I'm usually a darker writer, so writing humor is really awkward for me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Adam Levine or Christina Aguilera . . . or Patsy Noah or Blake Shelton.

Adam Noah Levine was in trouble. Wait, "trouble" is not the right word for how much "trouble" this is - he is a dead man! You could always count on Adam when there's fucking up needing to be done.

Adam looked at the mess of a watch with its glass smashed and the set wheel, the minute wheel, the . . . everything fucked up! How did this happen, Adam could not answer. One second he was googling himself to check for news that could jeopardize his reputation and the next his watch came flying out of nowhere and smashed against the wall!

The watch was a gift and the person who gave it to him was coming in just a few hours. Oh lord, his mom's going to have his head. One thing anyone needs to know about Patsy Noah is that you do not mess with Patsy Noah!

After cursing a number of times - in this case, two numbers of times (it was that much), Adam took a deep breath and muttered to himself, "I can fix this," which in other words, translated to "I'm going to fuck shit up some more and hope she doesn't notice."

Adam decided that he needed tools, so off to the kitchen he went. He didn't even know if he kept tools - What did he look? A mechanic? Hell no! - but he checked under the sink anyways; after all, in all movies, the sink was where all tools were kept.

After shoving his arm in and feeling about in the nothingness that was under his sink, Adam's hand hit an object. He pulled it out and noticed that the mysterious object was a bottle - a glass bottle that was covered in a few gems and dust and cob webs and it was so - so - so, "Gross!" and Adam dropped the slim bottle and wiped his hands against his white tee. After getting over that the bottle was disgustingly dirty, which, by the way, took about ten to fifteen minutes, Adam worked up his nerves and picked the thing back up.

He proceeded to wash it with water out of curiosity. He had never seen the bottle in his entire life, yet it sat sitting under his sink for who knows how many years!

After drying it, Adam looked at it with interest. The gems were probably fake, he concluded, and there's nothing in it - no drink, no nothing! He also concluded that it wasn't as interesting as he thought it would be, and was about to toss it, when under the bottle, there carved were the words "Rub me." Adam read the words distastefully. Why would anyone want to rub a bottle? As though it could sense his defiance, the bottle erupted and the word "Rub" was splattered. More of the word kept appearing and soon, the bottle was clustered with it.

Most people would drop it out of shock, but Adam saw the magic happen and muttered to himself, "Holy shit" and laughed and laughed. "Oh my god, I must be dreaming. I didn't break the watch. Oh thank goodness," but he rubbed the bottle anyways.

As he rubbed, the bottle began to shake violently and lights began flashing and pink smoke oozed out. That's when Adam dropped the bottle and backed away as though the thing was a dog ready to pounce him . . . or his mother.

The smoke then outlined a figure and began to dissolve. Out stepped a woman with blue eyes and blonde hair. Adam practically back flipped behind the kitchen table. As he peered over, he pointed at the strange woman and yelled with complete self-control, "What the actual fuck are you?!"

The woman placed her hand on her chest as she laughed, "Oh my god, best reaction ever and it's been five thousand years of reactions for me! You look like an idiot!"