It's been what?A week?or two?or maybe three since Lewis told me that it's over.That were over!I admit na masakit!Masakit na masakit!
Tears keep streaming down my face while staring at him!Alam kong wala pang isang buwan mula nung i-dump niya 'ko pero may kasama na siyang iba!
"I didn't know that you're keen on being sweet"says by his oh-so-not-pretty-girl.I want to hiss at her!To tell that he's mine but realization hit me.We're over.
And...I'm broken.
So broken!
"I'm Rain actually"dagdag pa niya.Ha!Ulan pala pangalan niyan e.Hindi nama-wait!Nagpakilala siya?It means they are not together!
Pinunasan ko ang mga luha ko.Mga luhang nagpapatunay na nasasaktan ako.After calming myself I walk towards them.
"Lewis"tawag ko sa lalaking minahal ko.Minamahal ko at mamahalin ko.
Hindi ako nabigong agawin ang atensyon niya kay Ulan dahil agad niya akong nilingon.
"Kelly!"he said.Surprised.
Hindi siya nagbago.Gwapo pa din siya.Pero yung nararamdaman niya sa'kin...iba na.Nagbago na.
"Can we talk?"I ask.Napabuntong hininga ako nung tumingin siya kay Ulan.
"Sure.But I just have 10 minutes left.I still have class"he coldly said and that makes me sad.More sad.We used to be so sweet and good together.
But now?Nevermind.
"Do you really need to hurt me?To dump me?To break my heart?Lewis naman!Kung trip mong saktan ako.Tama na!Mahal na mahal kita e.Mahal na mahal!"I said.
Sabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi na ako iiyak pero makita lang siya?Magbre-breakdown na'ko e.
"Kelly.I thought it's already clear to you.That we need to split and live without each other!"he said back.Tsaka lumayo't iniwan si Ul-Rain.
I follow him until nakarating kami sa likod ng music room.The place which I love and hate at the same time.
Dito kami tumatambay every time na may vacant kami at dito rin niya ako sinabihan na wala na kami.
"Without each other?"I laughed.Yung tawang sarcastic.
"You can live without me?I thought I'm your world Lewis.You told me I'm your life!Well if you can live without me,guess what?I can't"I added.Patuloy parin sa pag-iyak.
He look at me and I can't see love in his eyes anymore.
"That was before Kelly.Before.I have my new world now so please.Stop chasing.Stop loving me"aniya.
"Ano bang nagawa ko?Maayos naman ako a.Anong problema?"I ask.
"Walang problema Kelly.It's just that.I...I just fall out in love with you"he answered.
"Ganun?Sabi mo diba may new world ka na?May iba ka na ba kahit nung tayo pa?I ask again.He didn't answer so I take that opportunity to talk again.
"Itatapon mo nalang lahat ng pinagsamahan natin?Yung two years natin?"I ask.Sobbing and crying so hard.Alam kong mamumugto na naman ang mata ko pero wala na akong pakealam.
Hindi ko na maitago ang nararamdaman ko.May isasakit pa pala ang sakit na nararamdaman ko.
Hindi kami nagkaroon ng closure nun e.Basta he dump me and walk away.
"I'm sorry Kelly.Kung patatagalanin pa natin to,mas lalo ka lang na masasaktan.And I don't want to hurt you even more."he slowly said habang hawak ang magkabilang braso ko.
"But you just did Lewis.You just did"
I heard him sigh heavily.I look at him and I caught him looking at me.I thought he'll look away but he didn't that's why can see longing in his manly eyes.
"I have my new world now.Yes.And that is to focus on my studies Kelly not other girls or what"Nahihirapan niyang sabi.Natigilan ako.
"I need to study hard but I wan't you to know that you're still my world but I have a new world now Kelly."he said.
"I still love you Lewis"That's what I can only say.
He hold my chin and planted soft kiss on my nose.I close my eyes.Feeling his soft lips on my skin and sniffing his manly scent na namiss ko ng sobra.
"I love you even more Kelly"he said.
"But I need to leave you now.I love you.You're just the one and you're the most thing that happen to me.I'll leave you for my future or maybe our future."
143 Kelly.Remember that.Forever and Always"he said.His voice crack a little.
Patuloy lang din ang pagtulo ng luha ko ng maramdaman ko ang pagpunas niya rito using his thumb.Naramdaman ko din ang paghalik niya sa noo ko na lagi niyang ginagawa.
"Lewis"
"Lewis"
I open my eyes only to see nothing.Wala na siya.And again I'm broke.
So broken...
Tumingin ako sa puno na nasa likod ko.Doon nakita ko ang initials namin na inukit niya noon kaya't lalo akong napaiyak.
Nanghihina ko itong hinawakan.Maybe he's right.He'll leave me for now.For now.
"Lewis"
Pero masakit talaga.Nasanay na akong lagi siyang nandyan e.Nasanay na akong binabasa ang mga text niya pagkagising ko at bago matulog.
Ngayon ay kailangan ko na rin sigurong sanayin ang sarili kong wala na siya pati na ang mga bagay na ginagawa niya.
Mahirap.Oo
Pero kakayanin ko.Para sa'kin.Para sa kanya.Kay Lewis.
Lewis ko.
'Mahal na mahal kita Lewis'my heart says.
'Pero kailangan na kitang kalimutan'sabi naman ng utak ko.
Im broken.That's for sure and this is my story.Our story.