Never

Chapter One

Lily jolted awake, sitting up so fast she smacked her head on the low ceiling. It took her a moment to get her bearings, breathing heavily. She rubbed her head where she'd hit it, rumpling her raven hair. Cursing quietly, she slipped down off her top bunk and landed lightly on her feet. The blonde twins sleeping below her hadn't stirred, and they continued snoring softly as she crept to the washroom. Hand resting on the doorframe, Lily turned back to look at them. The sisters lay curled into each other, fingers intertwined. For the millionth time, she wished she wasn't alone. She turned away, fiddling with her necklace. Oh, how she missed Bali. Don't think about it.

Lily bent over the sink, back arched, holding onto the wall for support. Calm down. Just another nightmare. She took a deep breath. She splashed water on to her face, rinsing off the sweat caused by her erratic writhing in her slumber. She stood, then, and tottered back to the sleeping quarters, determined to make it through the rest of the night. All around her, the soft sounds of breathing and dreaming enveloped her. No one else had nightmares like hers; it was yet another thing that separated her from everyone else in the orphanage. While all the other children slept soundly, she often awoke kicking and screaming and struggling for breath, having imagined she was back at Kantogoa during the fire.

Don't think about that, either. She pushed the image of the burning branch falling onto Bali's hut out of her mind. You're safe now. There's nothing you could have done.

Silently Lily climbed back up to her thin mattress, wrapping her scratchy blanket around her shoulders as she let out a yawn. It had been weeks since she'd had a good night's sleep, and she was exhausted. Curled up in a tiny ball, arms wrapped around her knees, Lily began to sing under her breath. She knew none of the other orphans would mind if they heard, and they were all asleep anyway, but she could hear the dormitory monitor pacing up and down the hall outside, so she kept quiet. Soon her words began to slur, and the last thing she remembered before drifting off was murmuring the final words to the song.

Lily stood just outside the door to her hut, watching as Bali and the rest of the boys left for the fishing run. They marched with their backs straight because they were men now, and they had responsibilities. At least, that was what Bali said. She could see him in the crowd, blue-black crow feathers in his hair, wideset eyes roving over the group. He took care of them. He was wise beyond his years, and she loved him for it. Loved him. Did she love him? They were supposed to be married some day, Papa had told her.

Papa stood beside her, tall and strong and unsmiling, his chief's facepaint cracking on his serious face. There were deep wrinkles around his eyes and mouth, lines that had never seemed so sad and unforgiving before Mami's death. Back then, they had been laughter lines. Lily couldn't remember the last time he had laughed. Light blue dashes marked his high, angular cheekbones. They represented power and wisdom. His hair fell perfectly straight down to his shoulders. He did not look at her. He never looked at her since Mami died.

A few steps behind him stood the shriveled old wise woman, with black feathers in her hair and white marks on her nose. Her eyes were small but kind, lined with crows feet at the edge. She smiled a lot. As Lily watched, she reached up and rested her hand on Papa's shoulder.

"It is her time. We must tell her now." Her voice was deep and gravelly. Lily used to be afraid of her because of it.

Papa turned to look at her, for once, and she realized that his eyes were green. But that couldn't be right, they were black, like hers. As she watched, they returned to their normal color. The wise woman took Lily's small, smooth hands in her wrinkled ones and spoke quietly.