Chapter one:
Blood. That's all I saw. Running down my arms and legs. Nothing that I can do, I mean I did do this to myself. Just sitting there watching the blood makes me feel weaker. But like I said there's nothing I can do. Except to stop what I do to myself, I just can't, it makes me feel good for some reason. I quickly got up and washed the blood away from my wrists. It was harder to wash my legs so I decided to jump into the shower. I didn't clean myself or anything, I just stood there. Watching the blood go through the drains. Once I turned the shower off I grabbed my towel and dried off. As I looked into the mirror I noticed my flaws quickly, like I do everyday. When I went back into my room, I decided to get into my pjs, but then my phone went off. I got a text from Melody.
From Melody:
Hey you wanna go clubbing tonight? ;)
I didn't want to go to be honest. But she's been there for me through everything. I would always turn down fun events she invited me to because of my depression, and partly because I don't like to socialize with other humans. I should give this a chance and put myself out there more. I picked my phone up, my thumbs kept hovering over the keypad. Should I go?
To Melody:
Sure ill be ready in about 20 min. :)
Sent, message delivered. My phone read to me. What have I done? I don't want to go, but there's nothing I can do about it now. That seems to be my motto: "there's nothing I can do about it". It probably makes me seem weak. That's the thing, I am weak. The sound of my phone ringing interrupted my thoughts.
From Melody:
REALLY?! YAYA! GREAT! ILL BE THERE IN 30 MIN. OK? OK! :D
Great. I walked over to my closet. What should I wear? I decided on some black skinnies, my nice skeleton shirt (which happens to be my favorite shirt), and my blue toms. I still don't look good, I never have and never will. Shit. You can see the scars on my arm. I just so happen to find a nice jacket to wear that matches my outfit. Luckily it's cold outside so it won't seem suspicious. Well, might as well wait for her now. I walked downstairs to my mom sitting on the couch watching tv.
"Hey mom" I said trying to seem happy
"Hey sweetie. Where are you headed off to?"
"Well Melody invited me to go clubbing so I decided to go." I am 21 so I'm legal to drink. Then again I have been drinking since I was 16. Yes I am 21 and still live with my mom. You can't blame me, my father died when I was 4 and my mom would be lonely without me.
"Great! I'm so glad you decided to go. You never really go any where" she chuckled.
"Thank you for making me feel unsocial" I laughed. Even though its true.
"Well, drink responsibly. You probably already know that but I'm just reminding you"
"I will mother" I said sarcastically.
My mom already knew I started to drink at 16. Then again, she was the one who gave me my first alcohol beverage. Next thing you know I hear Melody banging on the door.
"It's for me I guess" I said sorta disappointingly.
I open the door. I just see Melody with a big ass smile on her face, then she tackled me to the ground with a big bear hug.
"OH AMELIA, IM SO SO SO HAPPY YOU DECIDED TO GO WITH ME!" She screamed
"Well how could I say no"
"You always say no.." She said as if it was normal for me to say no often. Which was true, I usually did.
"Ok we should go now, bye mom!" I said walking out the door. I really just wanted to get this night over with.
