Time machine

Time Machine (Part 2)

Hatred

"Autumn!" I stopped and turned my head at the back to look for the person who called me.
"Thank God! I found you Autumn" 

My already frowned face turned into a crumpled paper when I saw who's calling me. It's Madison, my elder sister. She's two years older than me and I hate being with her. I can't even stand being near her.

"What do you need?" I asked.
"I have good news for you! The school's choir is looking for new members. There is an on-going audition this week. You should try it, I'll go with you. Come on!" she said gladly. My irritated face while listening to what she is saying cannot wipe off the smile on her face. Ugh! I really hate her. She should stop acting like were okay, that she like being with me. I know that she hates me too. I know that we are on the same page.
"I'm not interested" I told her.
"But Autumn, I know you can get in that audition. Mom and Dad will be happy if you'll try" she said trying to convince me.
"They won't! Stop it Mady! Why can't you just go there alone? Don't act as if you care. I'm sure you're not" I immediately turned my back at her and walk away from school.

*****

I keep on walking till I saw the park near our school. I sat at the bench beside a big tree. I was looking at some kids playing with their parents. I envy them. They are loved and cared. I stopped on what I was thinking when I heard someone mention Mady's name.

"Is that Madison's sister?"
"I think so."
"She's the exact opposite of her sister. She always got failing grades. Poor her"
"I know...She'll never achieve what Mady had"
"Yeah right. She's good for nothing"

What the! They are literally talking behind my back. I was about to confront them when Cliff just came out of the blue.

"What are you saying? You don't know Autumn and you don't have a right to degrade her. She's a great person. Way better than the two of you. Leave!" he angrily said.

I bowed my head and looked at my red sneakers while I'm still sitting at the bench.

"Are you alright?" he asked. I know that he's worried about what I felt after hearing those things. He's the only one who cares for me.
"I'm okay Cliff. I already get used to it." I sighed.

I know that I will never be as great as her, or even half, but they don't need to rub it on my face all the time.

I hate everyone! I hate them! Even my own parents never made me feel that I am important. No one cares about my existence. No one loves me. I hate them. But I hate myself even more. I keep on asking myself why...why I can't do this...Why can't I do that? And why can't they accept me for who I am.

"Don't mind them. Come on! I'll take you home"
"I don't have one" I answered.
"What?" he asked. He looks confused.
"We only have a house. Don't call it a home, coz it will never be"

I want to go in a place called home and not a house. Those two were different...very different.
As we are walking on the way to our house, I can't stop thinking about everything that happened.
I'm wondering what does a grass felt when people always notice the colorful flowers leaving them as a plain greeny background. Or what does a black little kitten felt when Ms. Lane shoo her away while the others which have good looking colors and have fluffy and shiny furs are kept and given food and care. 

I wonder why they can't accept me for who I am. They can't even see the good things that I can do. They always see what I am lack off than what I have. They keep on pushing me to whom I can't be.
It's just a wishful thinking that they can love and accept me.