Time machine

Time Machine (Part 3)

A song for you

I sat under the shade of a big tree at the school's open field after our class. I don't want to go home yet. 

I closed my eyes. Then I started to softly sing mom's favorite song. She always sings that to Mady. I heard her teaching Mady that song when we were young but I know that Mady can't sing. I think that singing is the only thing that I can do that Mady can't. But nobody ever cared about what I can do. Even mom didn't cared to know. 

...You are the one who makes me happy when everything else turns to gray... You are one of the few things worth remembering...and since it's all true, how could anyone mean more to me than you...

Yeah, right. How could anyone mean more than Mady to mom and dad. Even I cannot.

"Autumn! Come on, let's go to the auditorium. You have a great voice. I know you'll get in." Cliff came rushing just to tell me that.

"I don't want to Cliff"

"No! It's your chance to prove them wrong. That you can do something great that they can't"

*****

I didn't tell my parents that I got in to the choir's audition and that we will have a performance for the family day. Great! It's a family day but I had no one to be with. I'm sure they'll go with Mady. 

"Mom, it's ok if we will not participate with the activities, we should watch and support Autumn on her performance." I heard Mady telling that to mom when I walk out my room to go to school for the event.
"You're going to sing Autumn?" mom asked.
"It's ok mom. You don't need to go." I answered.
"We will go. Just make sure you won't disappoint us" mom said as if she only cared about their reputation. She'll never appreciate what I can do.

I was about to walk out our main door when Mady suddenly said something.

"Good luck Autumn! I know you can do it" she said gladly.

I just keep on walking. I didn't thank her. I know she's only doing these to prove our parents that she is a caring sister, that she is the perfect daughter. I know she doesn't care about me just like mom and dad.

Even if I had a grudge for them here in my heart, I can't deny that strange feeling that I have right now. I felt a little happiness coz it's the first time that they are going to school for me and not for Mady.

*****

I roamed my eyes on the auditorium to look for them as we are starting to line up in the stage to sing for today's event. I knew it. They're not going. You're such a fool Autumn for believing all their lies.
I started to sing together with the others from the school's choir. They are all smiling except me. I thought this day will be different and special. But I'm wrong again.

*****

I walk out of the auditorium after our performance then I went to the open fields where I saw Cliff. 

"Hey! You did a great job. I watched your performance. I waved my hands but I guess you didn't notice me" he cheerfully said.
"I shouldn't believe in them Cliff" I said with a soft voice, full of disappointment. I shouldn't expect that they'll be true to their words.
"Have you seen Mady?" I asked him, hoping that they have an acceptable reason for not coming.
"There is an on the spot quiz bee. They chose few students including Madison. Your parents are with her. She told me to say sorry to you" 

I cannot even utter a word after hearing what he just said. 

I should stop giving myself false hopes. 

I should stop dreaming and wishing that someday they will care for me. 

I am an adopted child. For me to be appreciated by others is just a wishful thinking. 

"Stop it Autumn! Wake up!" I told myself.

*****

I stayed at the park that gloomy afternoon after I told Cliff that I want to be alone. I looked at the dark sky. I think it'll rain tonight.

"Autumn..." I looked at the person who called me. It's Madison.
"Autumn, I'm so sorry...I didn't know about the quiz bee and I told mom and dad that I'll be okay and they should watch you" she said with apologizing eyes.
"Stop it Mady. I know everything from the very start. They just adopted me because they cannot have another child after you. They don't love me. They will never love me because I am just a black kitten that they got from a street like a trash and you should stop showing that you cared for me coz I know you don't. I'm not your sister. Stop it!" I angrily told her. Telling her the hatred I have for them in my heart for a very long time.
It started to rain as I finished talking.
"You know what Autumn? What you just said hurts me here" she cried pointing at her heart.
"I don't' care! Stop acting! Stop everything! Don't worry, from now on, you'll never gonna see me again"
I run as fast as I can to look for some place to ease the pain I'm feeling right now when suddenly I was blinded by a beam of light.

Screecchhh...

"AUTUMN!"