Love Letters

Chapter One

 -------> WARNING : SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE, THERE MAY BE SWEARING, OR SEXUAL TALK. THESE ARE REAL LETTERS, SO PLEASE FORGIVE IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU DON'T WANT TO READ. BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ IT, THEN DON'T. THIS WARNING APPLYS TO ALL CHAPTERS ! THANK YOU :D

“August 17, 2008 5:54 AM

(Our two month Anniversary)

Subject: Dear Kristie

So I have been up all night. I can’t sleep. I’ve been sick. I don’t want us to break up. I'm really scared of losing you. I know I'm not the best boyfriend in the world. But I try my best. And I hope that your not just using this as an excuse to break up with me before school starts. I doubt you would. But I can be a dickhead sometimes, like today with nick. But I really love you and I just don’t want to lose you. You mean everything to me. I will die without you. I just want to cry right now. Everything you do makes me fall further in love with you boo. I'm sorry I drag you to these stupid family functions of mine. I feel bad, and that’s why I cook you breakfast, to try to make you happy. I feel like hell right now. I don’t want to be just another one of your ex boyfriends. I want to be the man of your world forever. You’ve brought me more joy than anyone I have ever known. There is no other like you. I can’t stand the thought that I might lose you. I saw you deleted your scroll box, which was about you and me. And you deleted the part about me being a wonderful boyfriend in your about me. It kind of hurts, but maybe you just didn’t want your parents to see it. I’m not sure. I read your poem like 10 times tonight. Trying to reassure myself that you’re not just using this as an excuse to end what we have. Like I thought about it before, if you wanted to break up with me you could just say something like your parents found out and we aren’t allowed to see each other. I don’t think you would actually do it tho. Because we are in love with each other.  Yeah maybe 2 months is a little early to be talking about a house and a family and stuff, but its not the duration we spend together, its how much time we spend in that duration. I know I may be acting a little bit different lately, but I’ve just been really stressed out because of bills, because the army hasn’t paid me in a while. I don’t mean to get upset over stupid stuff. I didn’t get mad at you what so ever with the Brian issue. I just got mad at him. Same with what happened at my sisters wedding with nick. I’m not mad, and if you say your not going to talk to him anymore, then don’t. But you don’t have to. I just care for you more than words can express and I don’t want someone that still cares for you and you still care about to ruin what we have. I miss the way we used to go the park, and sit in our spot and have picnics and kiss.  And I miss being at Pam’s house and texting you from across the room. And waking up during a bad night, and looking at my phone seeing “Kristie wuzz herre”. I miss that stuff we used to do, and I think you do too. I know your not sure about a lot of things right now. But I don’t want you to be scared or confused. You said before “I may be young but I know what I want, and that is you.” well now you have me. My full attention, all day, and all night, I think of you. Don’t trade me in, I beg you. I wont be able to live without you. But anyways…happy 2 month…I love you kri”

 ------------GUYS PLEASE COMMENT, AND LET ME KNOW IF YOUR EVEN INTRESTED IN READING MORE, I DON'T WANNA KEEP POSTING IF YOU GUYS ARENT EVEN REALLY INTO READING THEM ! THANKS :D i JUST WANTED TO POST THESE, TO PROVE THAT NICE GUYS TO EXIST, AND HOPEFULLY YOU WILL ALL REALIZE THAT !

“August 18, 2008 11:41 pm

Subject: My Boo. AAF.

So whatever happens, I want you to know that I love you. And you’re always going to be the keeper of the key to my heart. These past couple months have been the best of my life. With you, nothing else matters but being together. I don’t have to try to act cool, or act at all. I am who I am, who I want to be, when I'm with you. I'm always happy. Like when Mr. lady Samson baby comes to the door and is so happy to see me. And you’re standing there next to him with an ear-to-ear smile. It makes my day. When we first started going to Oklahoma Park, and we chased the birds, and sat under our tree for the first time. When we swung double on the swing set at nighttime before I took you home. When I would buy energy drinks and make you try them even tho they were the same flavor every time. When I got you a joins soda and you acted like I gave you the world. When we go to the mall, and walk through Victoria’s secret, and I give you a piggyback ride, even tho everyone is looking at us like we are weird. Or when a weird guy rubs weird stuff on your skin, and asks stupid questions. When you went to the circus with me on my birthday, and I stayed so you could see the horses even tho I had to wait through a clown show. When we dance in k-mart, or you shave my face. When you used to draw on my. When we kissed at the park by your old house in Swissvale, and the one kid cheered for us. When you burned out in my truck at the park in the gravel, and Alan got mat and I jumped in the back of his truck and he almost killed us both, but I got him to come back and hang out with us. When we would lay at our spot at Northmoreland, and the Marlboro red pack was there for like 2 weeks to mark our territory. When my truck broke down and you stayed and ate McDonalds with me until the tow truck came. When you punch me in the jar, and wink with both eyes. When you say I'm the type of guy every girl dreams of. When you cook me food, such as ramen noodles and mac and cheese. And shuv PBJ in my face until I cant breath but I keep taking bites although I don’t know why. When the two old people in Leechburg walked past us and farted. Ha. When we’d go to my dads and my dad would say “Yes dear” to Sharon, and she would say “Go get them the ash tray guy!” when I think I'm too cool for skool, and you agree even tho u kno I'm not. When you and Tori sang to me. When I would come back from a long day of drill and you would be waiting for me with a smile. Or when I’d come pick you up and you would wait outside for me, and your eyes would light up when you saw it was me coming to get you. When you sat and watched me play football with my company at the picnic that ended up being lame, and I didn’t get you your ipod. When we went to Apollo moonlanding and saw all the weird people. And I got you your pink bear. And I came home from my grandparents early to watch the fire works with you on the fourth of July. When you had me keep one cigarette for you for the next day, and I was on my way home in the car, reached into my pocket pulled it out lit it up and it ended up being your menthol, and I didn’t gag like I normally would, I just thought of you and smile. When you and Andy were walking from the park, because you wouldn’t let me give you two a ride and it was cold, and I gave him my huge camo jacket, not to make him happy, buy for you, because I knew you didn’t want him to be cold. Although I tried giving it to you first. Ha. When one of us are having the worst day ever, and the others voice just makes us happy and content. When we layed on the couch watching “the notebook”, and we both were like “Hey we did that!” when I told you I loved you for the first time and I said “ I didn’t even tell my girlfriend that yet” Haha. (I forgot about tat until you said about it yesterday, it made me happy). When you sit in the middle of my truck, and hold my hand, and look at me with those beautiful eyes and say I love you boo. When I walked to the gas station with you, and we walked out and I was like “come over here” and I asked you to kiss me, but I had to make up an excuse. Even tho you didn’t like my excuse. You liked the kiss. When I go to get into my vehicle and you open up the door for me. It’s the little things like that that count. That makes me happy. I hope they make you happy. I have a lot of stress in my life, but when I'm with you, they all disappear. Throughout my day, any day, every day, anything someone does, it makes me think of you. I see black cobalt driving down the road, and I think maybe its Kristie driving with her mom on her permit, and I look. Like it even happened to me yesterday on reservoir, even tho I know your mom won’t drive that road. You’re in my heart all the time. In my dreams at night, and in my arms after work. I never want to be kept away from you. Like I used to have heart problems before we were going out, but as soon as we started dating they went away. I feel like you’re my angel, like you save my life every time I hear your voice. You ARE my favorite hello and the hardest goodbye. Like every time I drop you off, it hurts because I have to let you go, even if I don’t work the next day and I know I can see you in the morning. It still hurts. I just want to be with you all the time. I love the way you think. The way you smell, the way you taste. The way you look at me. The way you hold my hand, except when you bend your wrist. Ha. I am going to prove you wrong that everyone lets you down. I'm not going to. I want to be your umbrella. Even tho I'm too tall to walk under yours but I ducked to fit under when it rained at your grandparents. You are my best friend. You give me butterflies. Because I love you, the poem you wrote me the other day was amazing. I read it over and over. There could never be another that can make me feel the way you do. I’ve never cried in front of a girl other than my mom until today. I wouldn’t take back anything that has happened over the past couple months. You mean everything to me. Like I never said anything, but that night Durkis came over to my house and you were there, and he was sitting across the room and you were right by my side clenched onto me, it made me feel great. Like I finally found someone that actually truly cared about me. I love you so much, with everything I am. My brain my heart and my soul. I cherish you. Every moment with you. Every breath I get to take in your presence. I hold it deep inside and don’t want to let it go. I want it to be you and I forever. Always together. So lets make this work. We can do it. I have been praying every day twice a day for the past 2 months plus some that we can make this work. And I hope Jesus wont let me down, I haven’t been to church, but seeing you wear that necklace gives me peace in my heart. I'm in love with you KMM. You make me the man I want to be, and I don’t ever want to change. Please, try your best to make this work, so we can be together. I know that’s what I want, and I am pretty sure that’s what you want. All we can do is give it our all, and hope we can overcome the odds of what your parents are going to have to say tomorrow. But I guess this is all for now. I love you.

-Matt (Smitty)”