The Starting Year

I walk through the doors to my new school for hopefully the last 4 years of it. I walk to the freshman hall and see if i can find anyone i know here. i look and find my old friend Kim from LBJ middle school. I went to school there till i finished my 7th grade year. I always liked hanging out with Kim. I sat by her.



"Hey Kim! It's been awhile since i saw you huh?" I see that she saw me walking towards her and she turns toward me. "Where have you been huh?" she says this looking straight into my face. She's one of the first people to see me back from moving 30 miles away. "oh... if you didn't know, ive moved during the end of 7th grade year but I'm back!" I tried to make this happy but deep inside I just wanted to curl up into a ball to cry and die.



I can't do that here. I can't act like this, no one must know. I looked around the 9th grade lunch hall. I only saw a few others there.



I talked with Kim for a little bit more and ran to give my new shuelde for the rest of the year. "Gym, honors math, honors English, orchestra, ROTC, health/ journal, and biology. Great this is going to be a great year...



I walked into my gym class and looked for some friends I made in LBJ or Tonyhillerman... "LIZA!!!! OMFG!!!! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WHERE COMING BACK!!!" I looked towards the usually small and squeaky voice to see my old friend bailey from LBJ. I was rewarded a tackling hug. "Hey!! Yah I didn't really tell anyone about me coming back sorry.." Then I saw Janea, she walked in and I yelled at her. We won't really close but we were somewhat friends I suppose.



We all sat together and quietly as the teachers came in. my teacher was Ms. Johnson, the only girl and muscle one out of all the gym teachers.

BACK AT HOME:

I already hate school now... all the hugs and paperwork given to me today was too much. It's like suddenly jumping into freezing cold water and panicking. That is how it is for me.



"Hey mom? I got some homework for you!" I walked to my mom and see her lying face down on the couch. She says something but I don't pick it up. My "dad" steps into the room and walks out back in my mom's room. Since the confession that I made during summer, my mom has been trying to get him to leave. It's all my fault. She even discussed having a divorce with my dad.

I guess it makes sense on what he did to me. I walked back to my room and locked the door. I have been locking my door because I don't want the same thing to repeat it again.



DURING SUMMER:

" Night mom... Jonas said he's going to sleep in my bed" I walked out of the office and went straight to bed. My little 5 year old brother was there waiting. He falls asleep very quickly when I sing to him. Sometimes I wonder if it was a mistake to sing to him.



"Hey! You ready to go to sleep?" I climbed up on my bed and lay down by him. "Elizabeth? Can you sing to me and rub my back?" he asked and I knew I couldn't refuse him. "Ok." He lay down and turn his back toward me and I started rubbing his small 5 year old back. Then I start singing his favorite song that puts him to sleep.



I heard the bells on Christmas Day

Their old, familiar carols play,

And wild and sweet

The words repeat

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;

"There is no peace on earth," I said

"For hate is strong,

And mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"





I sang that part that I know over and over for about 5 times before I knew that he was asleep. I found myself staring up at my dark ceiling and wonder what good things will come to me as I felt my eyes slowly close..