Have you taken your medicine?
Remember you can't climb trees,
Go up on rooftops,
Be around strobe lights,
Or be anywhere on your own
At any point in time
Because you could hurt yourself.
Quit zoning out all the time!
Would you please pay attention?!?
Hello? Hello?
Anyone in there?
Quit staring off into space,
We are on a time clock here.
Middle school and highschool are hard enough,
Life is hard enough.
Without someone taking away
All the things you love
And telling you it's for your own good.
We don't want you getting hurt.
They take away all those places you love to go
Because they're to high up.
And you can't climb to the top because you'll fall over,
And start:
Twitching.
Then your peers,
They don't understand.
You try to fit in but you always get
Pushed away cause you're to different.
It's not your fault you got cursed
With a mental dissability.
And to make it all worse
Your close friends become distant,
You scare them.
All because you have to take some stupid pills.
Then there are those friends
Who are only friends with you
Cause they feel sorry for you.
Sorry about the condition you just found out you had,
And in case the freight train that is your life derails
They want to know you well enough
That they can all come and speak at your funeral.
It's sometimes hard to tell whom is a friend
Because they actually like you.
Then you have foe's disguised as your friends
Who secretly don't even like you
But want to know everything about you so
They can talk about you behind your back.
Then the teachers
They don't really understand
It's not your fault you were cursed
And that if you are asked to speak
And you forgot to take those pills the night before
To freeze up and zone out,
Right in the middle of a sentence or a question
Losing your entire train of thought that will never
Be found again.
When you forget to take those damn pills
The freight train stall out.
Constantly.
The news you were given
That you had epilepsy hit you like a bug hits a windshield.
You ask why me?
Why did I have to be diagnosed right after my fourteenth birthday?
But no one understands
And even though you hit that windsheild
They expect you to keep flying.
That the train will keep rolling.
But when you stall out every now and again the teachers hold you back after class
To interrogate you like our a suspect in a murder case.
Asking all sorts of questions
What's wrong?
Is something bothering you?
Then the ones that know just ask you if you forgot again.
Then again some don't even care.
They just yell at you and make a fool of you
In front of everyone.
They don't even bother to wonder what's wrong they just think your another one of those kids
The ones who doesn't care about school.
Then on occasion you feel like derailing
Hitting a windsheild and not flying anymore.
You want to scream,
"NO MORE OF THIS TORMENT. I WILL TAKE NO MORE."
And you the captain of your ship wish to sink it right in the middle of the ocean of life.
Then those doubt filled thoughts sneak into your mind
You start to imagine what people will say at your funeral.
Then you dig your way out of that hole of self pity saying
"I have to keep rolling, I have to keep flying. If I stop now me, myself, and I will always wonder what could have been. What can I still do?"
Then you have those times when you go home and cry after a long hard day.
After a day of listening to those around you
Make fun of kids with disorders like yours
You know they can't help it but some of the world is to blind ot see it.
You patiently wait for them to turn against you or ask you why your not laughing.
But you never laugh.
And you never break down in front of them when they make jokes
About your disorder or others.
You're a train that keeps rolling.
A fly that keeps flying after hitting a windsheild.
A bee that keeps buzzing.
That won't stop until it's your turn to leave.
Waiting for it to be your turn to make a joke
A joke about people who don't get this gift
You see as a curse.
Life is hard enough
Without having a mental disorder called epilepsy.
