Letters to Marnie {not edited}

Chapter 4: A Letter About The Truth

Dear Marnie,

The truth is I found something out the other day by accident, I didn't mean to but I saw someone crying. The person that I have come to hate, they were crying. I never knew a sound could pain me so much, but it did. The way his shoulders were shaking as sobs racked his body, the way he had crumpled into the dirt his body language showing the insecure broken person inside. I was scared, in the two months I had come to know the boy known as Lou Ward I had always either seen him as one of two things. Number one was the bully I had him named as, the boy who had humiliated me, the newest member to that gang of snobs that think they are better then everyone else. Number two was the boy Cora was obsessed with, he seemed completely different to what I had him pinned as and despite my protests she had started talking to him a little more only falling deeper into this never ending spiral of love. I don't know what to do with all these conflicting emotions, I don't have the guts to face him yet alone admit I was wrong about him, I need your guidance Marnie. If only you would respond.

From your Dear Friend

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I watered the flowers in the small garden, tucked away behind an abandoned building is where it lay. The cracked tiles, aiming for your feet as you walked across the small paved area to a little guardian that got just enough sunlight to keep it going, it got just enough shade to keep it cool and the rain collected in the buckets all around it. This was my place of happiness, my place where I could spend my time tending to my garden. My small little garden.

One might say it's weird I keep a garden, or that I like gardening at all. I look and heck I even now act like your stereotypical jock, well not really I look a bit too much on the lanky side for that but you get what I'm saying. I don't really know what started this whole guardian business, I just remember having the sudden urge to explore the abandoned building that I had come across, to go into its depths and discover its secrets. I wanted to feel like a kid again, going on an adventure without a worry in the world. I want to feel as if I have nothing to worry about, nothing to fear, nothing to hold me back, no rules and no expectations. 

Sometimes I just sit here and cry for no reason, I try not to think about my Dad and the situation at home. The people we left behind, the new school, the pressure, it feels as if all the problems in the world have placed themselves upon my shoulders and the weight is just dragging me down. Once I start thinking I can't stop though so I just have to let it all out and I'm glad no one else nows about this spot or has seen me come this way, I like it the way it is.

Tears started to well up in my eyes for no reason, here it came, the sobs, the shaking body, the curled up form. I was pathetic in this state but I pull through. I sat down next to the garden, looking at the strawberries hoping they would turn out alright. I buried my head in my hands as I curled up even more then I ever had before as I once again let it all out, no one could say that I was tough if they knew what happened after he hours of school, no one could say I was a bully without a reason if they followed me, no one could tell me they knew how I felt because I would know if they were lying. They lie every time.

After what seems like hours of crouching in my curled up form, I raise my head up to the sky to only be met by the cold hard glare of the sun. It appeared to be midday and by the looks of it I had zoned out a little, I unfolded my limbs. Prying them apart as they stuck together by the sweat in my joints. What I saw next made me stop in my tracks, there was a set of footprints over near the entrance to the small garden, they weren't mine they were too small to be. They had stirred up a lot of sand by the way they had moved, I must have sent them off running as I started to move again. I started to panic, how much had this person seen? what exactly did they think of this? Why didn't I notice them? and most importantly...

Who are they?

-So guys I sort of have a little bit of a writers block. Hence why this chapter isn't very good, I'm sorry if it didn't meet your expectations and I will fix it later but for now it's okay and I don't mind it. I'm getting better at updating mainly on schedule ^^ Also the next few chapters may be a bit short due to school and stuff but they are also leading up to one really long and big chapter I am planning to write so be prepared. >-<-