Young, scared and throwing up.

Two

I woke up the next day with one of my most famous hangovers. I woke up alone like all other days but I can vaguely remember going to bed next to Sierra. I stumbled out of bed and make my way over to the curtains and slam them shut as hard as I could.

"Fucking sunlight ruins all good mornings." I mumble to myself as I walk towards the door. Just as I go to open the door it swings back at me and hits my arm and knocks me to the ground. I hear Shae shriek and drop the plate and glass on the floor. I hit the ground the same time as the glass and I saw the shards and juice shatter around me. I don't remember anything after I felt my head hit the ground the second time, I guess I blacked out.

I woke up 40 minutes later laying on my bed with Sierra sitting next to me and placing a cold face cloth on my forehead. I can smell bacon and eggs. She must have made more after the little accident before. I'm so thankful for her. I pick up my phone to check what other stupid shit I did while I was drunk. As I go to unlock my phone the time catches my eye.

"Fuck I have work! I completely forgot. I have to be there is 20 fucking minutes." I scream and jump up off the bed and into my bathroom. "Can you find me some blue skinny jeans and my work shirt please Shae?" I jump into the shower as I hear her open my cupboard door.

"This room is a fucking mess, I am coming over after work and we are getting this place in order," Shae says as she rummages through millions of pairs of skinny jeans to find blue ones, " Your life is a mess."

I felt nothing but silence and disappointment fill the empty spaces of the entire apartment from every corner to every draw to the ashes of the fire pit. There was nothing expect the feeling of regret and sadness. We stayed silent for the rest of the time I was showering and she was looking for my uniform. When I got out of the bathroom I see Shae sitting on the end of my bed with my uniform laid out perfectly next to her. 

Her sweet soft face just made me want to kiss her. The way her freckles spread out across her face and the way her grey eyes stared straight through mine into my heart. She belonged in my heart and she was never leaving. I wish I could tell her everything. How bad I felt. What I did. I would one day, I swear. Until then what she doesn't know can't disappoint her any more than I already do. Why run salt into a wound you're trying to patch up right.