((Continued from last book :3 Go read it)) TRIGGER WARNING MY STORY WILL CONTAIN THINGS SUCH AS BLOOD, CUTTING, ANOREXIA, ETC. READ AT YOUR CHOICE.
~Alex's POV~
Johnnie seemed so happy now. He final could allow himself to be happy. I couldn't wait to go to the concert. I still wasn't ok. The death was still stuck with me. Forever. But Johnnie can't see me down at my worst. He has to stay happy, I can't let him attempt suicide. I try helping everyone else and I can't even save myself. I'm just a fucking idiot. I shake the thoughts out of my head and stand. I was still here at Johnnie's and all 7 MDE members and Robby would be going to this concert. Johnnie hopefully can have some fun. That was the whole point of all us flying out to see him. It was for his birthday, and for his happiness. I get up and head into the living room. Johnnie and Bryan were slouched on the couch watching some cartoon I didn't recognize. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a drink. They hadn't noticed I shrug and walk back to the guest room.
"Hey Alex," Bryan shouts bbefore I make it back into the room.
"Oh...hey Bryan," I reply. I really wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone.
"ALOOX," I hear Johnnie yells.
"Oh god," I say laughing a bit.
"Well now you can't be a blueberry...you can be princess bubble gum," he says.
I continue to sip my juice silently.
"Ready for tonight?" I ask.
"Yeah I'm pumped! Thanks a ton," He says smiling.
"Yeah no problem," I say forcing a fake smile. For him. For us. For the world.
"Well I'm just gonna go sit alone in my room and doing nothing for the day," I say walking away. Why was everyone giving me shit about my moms death? Why are people so fucked up? Why do their words matter? I have no answers. I don't search for them. I let the words overwhelm me and take control like a disease.
It spreads to my mind. My mind is black, dark and numb. Then the urges come on. Like a robot being programmed, I follow mindlessly and aimlessly. I let the blood run. I let it happen. I'm so numb I can't feel the pain it used to cause. I just smirk. I let the silver crayon draw the dark blood marks on my skin. line after line. My thigh is a sky full of red streaks. I can't do anything but stare letting it run. I don't try to stop myself. It's ok. Nobody cares. Johnnie can find someone else. I can die. MDE can replace me.
I smile at these thoughts.
"I'm useless. It's cool," I say. I sound insane. A monster. A monster thirsty for the blood of my own. Fuck it all. I DON'T matter.
I clean it all up. I know what I would do after the concert. I know exactly what to do.
YOU ARE READING
Misfits (A MDE Fan Fic Sequel)
Fanfiction((YES This is the long awaited sequel to I'm Better Off Dead, Right?)) Alex just isn't ok. Johnnie just can't help anyone. Shannon can't accept herself. Kyle is afraid of being alone Jordan can't eat Jeydon refuses to keep anything down Bryan just...
