withstanding the war. ➳ au styles. [on hold; indefinitely] [in editing]

Chapter Four.

Harry’s POV

My Dearest Marilyn,

I can only send you my love in this tiny letter. And just so you know, this letter is currently pissing off Niall because I am currently writing this at 2 o'clock in the morning. He’s mumbling something in Irish but I think he just called me an arse.

Niall is my tent buddy, and currently my only friend in this platoon. Though that may be subject to change by morning. (I’ll keep you updated with that.) He’s been helping me get through all these tiresome drills. I swear without him, I may not have made it through.

But then, Niall doesn’t deserve all the credit. See, he only gets credit because he thought of what could help me through. He told me to envision you waiting for me at the end of each drill, wearing my favorite outfit. You know, the one in my favorite picture of you? Yeah, that one. And even though I know you won’t be there to give me a congratulatory kiss, I still hope you are there waiting for me. Crazy, I know. But it works.

I am missing you like crazy, every aspect of you. The food here does not even compare to your cooking. You could burn a whole meal and it would still taste 100% better than what they are giving us. I know they need us to become ‘more muscular’ or whatever but they could at least try to make it taste somewhat appealing.

I miss your laughter, your voice, and your smile. Those things keep me warm when the harsh fall winds blow. They also put me right to sleep because I hope I can dream about them. If I can dream about them, then it makes my upcoming day seem less dreary without you by my side. It brightens up everything I do and I sometimes get a goofy grin on my face when I think about you. Niall worries about me when I do that, but he just hasn’t experienced love, especially one like ours.

I forgot to tell you too, I got my dog tags today, well yesterday technically. There’s a bright reddish copper circle and a faded forest green octagon. They both are stamped with my name, identification number, birthday, religion, and blood type. The reason why there are two is because if I am ever found dead, one will be sent to you with the telegram of my death. But you won’t have to worry about that because I am coming home to you. I promise.

I hope all is well at home and you’re finding some way to pass the time. I’ll be home soon enough, I promise. Although, right now I’m being sent out to the front line. When I get a legitimate address for you, I will send it to you so we can start conversing. Hang in there my love, things will be easier soon enough. I have to go now because Niall is starting to throw things at me and it’s very hard to concentrate. Like I said, I’ll be home soon. Stay well. I am so in love with you baby. Please remember that and never let it go.

With all my love,

Harry xx

That letter was too painful to write. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I sighed as I sealed the letter and left it on the mini table that was squished between the two make shift beds. Niall had finally stopped mumbling about how love struck I was and dozed off. I, on the other hand, could not shut an eye for the life of me. I did not know why the letter was difficult to write. Maybe it was the thought that it could be the last thing Mar had of me. No matter how bad I wanted to go back to her, if death ever came for me, I had no choice but to go. It could have been that she found someone to keep her warm at night. But I knew she would never do that to me, to us. There was another thought of someone taking advantage of my girl in her vulnerable state. That thought was enough to have made me scared shitless of leaving her.