withstanding the war. ➳ au styles. [on hold; indefinitely] [in editing]

Chapter Seven.

Marilyn’s POV

I breathed out an anxious breath, thankful no one was around to ask me if I was okay. I could not answer that question in an honest manner because both a “yes” and a “no” would be the correct answers. I wanted to be okay and in all actuality, I guess I was okay. But at the same time, I wasn’t. How could I be? The anxiety and apprehension was gnawing at me.

I took another deep breath. Harry would always make me do three of them. He would start off saying “one” and “two” calmly, but by the third one he would say “And the deep, cleansing breath” in a cute voice and it would just have me giggling. He would still make me take in the third breath, determined to make sure that I actually felt better because my giggles weren’t obvious enough. I smiled widely at the thought of him making me do them, giggling to myself similar to those times.

Oh how I missed Harry. I knew that if he were there, he would be holding onto my hand, rubbing soothing circles on the top, just to give me a bit of comfort. How I missed the comforting words he would say that would twist themselves with my shaky breaths. How I missed the never-ending heat radiating off his body and warming myself. His presence was all I needed to feel comforted, and without him there, I was even more anxious than I guess I should have been.

What I was anxious for was a mixture of things. Never mind my own feelings toward the situation, but also Harry’s. How would he feel if he knew about this? About being thousands of miles away from me, not being able to help? And what about Josh? I was sure he would be okay with this, but if he knew, he would want to help. And while I would appreciate his help, I did not want to have him concerned for this. I was not his girl.

And with that, another thought came into my mind. Should I tell Harry about Josh? I knew Harry would not be mad about Josh being in my life, but he would still worry. No matter how much Harry trusted me, he would always have that thought that someone would overpower me. Harry was right to think that; I was not strong enough to hold my ground, let alone barely be more than a meter and a half off the ground. But I also knew that not telling Harry would do more damage to our relationship if he ever found out.

With that thought in mind, I decided that when I wrote him back, I would let him know about Josh. About how he saved me, and his story as well, just so he understood that Josh would not do anything to harm me.

With my mind made up on that decision, it was free wander back to what brought me to this room in the first place. The pale white walls, the grey/blue chairs, and the cream colored counters that gave the room a boring tone. The news I would receive, whether good or bad, would be the opposite of boring. I looked down at my fingers and let them tangle with each other constantly. I grew more anxious as there was a knock on the door, and it opening.

I took a big breath in, something my doctor noticed and smiled about as she fully came into the room.

“Well Mrs. Styles, I just want to congratulate you on your pregnancy. The test came back positive.” The doctor beamed at me.

On the outside, I was beaming just as wide as her. This is what I had always wanted; to be a mother. On the inside, I was still happy, but apprehensive on what would become of me and the baby while Harry was still at war. And now, I would have to break the news to him, while he is miles away from home.

Harry’s POV

After two days of staying at that camp-like structure, some of us departed into the enemy’s territory, Niall and I included. As much as I loved the English landscape, Poland’s was immaculate. It could just be that it was a different country and in a humorous sense, I was “on holiday” but the colors of the leaves seemed so vibrant. The woods were blanketed with hues of reds, oranges, and yellows. The sunlight that shone through made you feel like you were encased in the sun. (Picture on side)

Niall and I walked side by side in the dome of warm colors, never being the first men to explore the unknown, but never the last. We wanted to know what was going on, but still stay safe within the pack. We would crack jokes between us and the other men, trying to keep the air light and happy, like the environment made everything seem to be. We had yet to come into combat, which I was thankful for. But my anxiety for that moment to arrive grew with every crunch of the leaves.

The pack of men that I travelled with seemed to be nice and welcoming. Most of them were like Niall and myself; first time in the war. There were twenty men in my pack, and most of them were pretty friendly. There were a few men who did not talk to the rest of us at all, and they did not even talk to each other. They were odd like that, but I let it go because it was not my place to judge them.

The rustling of the leaves left all of us a bit on edge, but even with us prepared for the unknown, we were not actually prepared for what was to come. The first time the sound occurred, I was frozen in my spot. But the by second time the sound went off, I managed to grab the back of Niall’s coat and run to a tree. And as I heard the third sound; I understood the state we were in.

I took a look at Niall who wore a confused state, but with a tilt of my head, he understood what was going on. The shots kept firing off as Niall and I prepared ourselves. While I was trying to get situated for my upcoming actions, I took a look around at my surroundings. All the men were hiding behind tree trunks themselves, none of them looking wounded. This set my mind at ease, knowing that none of the other men were hurt.

I stood with my back up against the trunk, mentally preparing myself for what I had to do. It would not be easy to shoot at someone, someone who was probably like me. He probably had a girl back home too and how could I shoot at him?

Unfortunately I did not have time to think any further on the topic because a bullet ricocheted off the tree I was hiding behind, causing me to scrunch up my face, while bringing my left arm and leg into my body.

On an instinct, my body straightened out, as I barely stuck my head out from behind the tree, and brought my arms around the trunk and shot off into the direction of the enemy. I just kept shooting until the other side seemed to silence. All the other men started to slowly move out from their natural barriers, Niall and I doing the same.

When it seemed like they had retreated, we checked to make sure everyone was okay and no injuries were sustained. We decided that it would be best to camp out here for a little bit so everyone could unwind from what had happened and just rest up. I took a seat up against a rock and internally smiled at myself. I was so proud of myself because I was able to pull Niall and I to safety and have the mentality to shoot at another person.

But that was what settled in. I shot at an actual person. I could have killed someone, if I didn’t already. How would I overcome the thoughts rushing through my head that I would ending someone’s life? It was hard enough to deal with distance away from Marilyn, never mind shooting someone. And I guess the thought never came to me before it did not seem like a tangible thing. But it was, and it happened. Marilyn and Niall would be the only reasons I would continue, the only reasons.

Hi babies (: I told you it would be getting better! I hope you like this update, a bit more in depth. I'm sorry it's so short. I had bigger plans for this update, but with midterms coming up soon, I need to start studying so I can get good grades so I could go to Ireland in the summer :D I will be working on the updates as much as I can. Plus, I have a whole week off for Thanksgiving, so I plan on updating all three works that week (: Hope all is well!

Stay Sparkling (: xox  - Steph