The Potter Generation

35

Wes

The library was way too hot.  It was warm anyway but when it snowed, Madam Pince turned up the heat until the room became a sauna. A few people had tried to convince her that it was bad for the books but she wouldn't hear any of it. The best we could do roll up our sleeves and hope we didn't die of heat stroke. 

I sat alone at a cluttered table with all kinds of books spread around me. History of magic books, potions books, magical career books, muggle books from home. I couldn't seem to keep my head straight ever since the intervention last night. 

I probably shouldn't have done it but I didn't feel guilty. I had too many secrets pushed on me and Will's was the last straw. I should have known he was too good to be true but of course I fell for it. I was blinded by a pretty smile and the hope of a famous documentary. Now? I wasn't so sure.

At least I had friends now. After the night before it would have been impossible to stay apart, not to mention I wouldn't stand for it. I liked these weirdos. We had potential for both good documentaries and fun times. I just hoped that our differences wouldn't cause problems. As far as I knew, a group made up of every house didn't happen. Ever.

I glanced at my camera that was innocently sitting on the table. I hadn't given up like Maggie said I would but the doubt I had were becoming much clearer. After interviews it would seem like maybe it would finally work out but it didn't take long for all the what ifs to crowd into my head and ruin it. I just hoped that I could finish it before I lost my motivation completely. 

I opened up a potions book with a sigh and attempted to read it for about five seconds until a figure sat down across from me. A figure I really didn't want to see and had been avoiding. I may not have felt bad about the intervention but I felt a little guilty about him. I wouldn't have done it if he didn't lie. 

"Wes." Will whispered. He was always whispering now, like if he talked any louder I might explode. I didn't say anything. Didn't even look up. Suddenly this potions book was a lot more interesting. 

"You can't ignore me forever." He continued. I didn't have to look at him to know he was a mess. I could imagine the bags under his eyes and his hair a mess. I knew it wasn't my fault but the weight on my shoulders told me otherwise.

"God Will, it's only been a few days." I mumbled. It was meant to sound angry but I just couldn't let myself. I had used all my anger last night. Now I just felt empty. And done. 

"I knew if I told you, you wouldn't trust me. No one trusts Death Eaters.-"

"But you weren't a Death Eater!" I didn't mean to say it that loud but everyone looked in our direction then. I finally looked at Will and he was just how I expected him to look. I shook my head. 

"You don't know if I would've trusted you." I said more quietly, standing up and collecting my books. "You didn't know me or what kind of person I was. You just assumed I was like everyone else, jumping to conclusions."

I turned away and started walking into the stacks, knowing he would follow. I pushed my books back onto the shelves and Will watched desperately. 

"I have a right to assume." He said. "I can't just put my trust into anyone and hope that they'll accept I'm evil."

"You can't trust other people without them trusting you back, that's not how it works. You can't get to know other people and leave them in the dark. It's not fair. If you really trust someone you should trust that they'll stay with you no matter what you've done in your past." 

I faced Will then. He kept his distance but it felt much closer. In that moment I wanted to punch him and kiss him at the same time. I hated that he had lied but I knew why he did. Why couldn't things ever be easy?

"I trust you." He said quietly. 

"You're not allowed to make me feel bad about this. This is your fault." Wasn't I allowed to be angry about this? He lied to me and tricked me into liking him when I didn't even know the real him. Why should I forgive him?

"I want to fix this, Wes. I want you to trust me again. What can I do?" I felt like throwing up. I hated all of this. I didn't want to do this. 

"Make me trust the real you, evil or not." 

I didn't wait for a response. I stalked out of the bookshelves and over to my table. I swung my bag over my shoulder, not even checking if Will was behind me. I knew he wasn't. The coolness of the corridor washed over me and with it went my thoughts of Will. I was done trying to decide if I was too far gone. I didn't care anymore.