When We Meet on Novembers ;; Jungkook

+ September 2011

j u n g k o o k

Today was my birthday.

And there was nothing good about it.

Everyone wished me a happy birthday, but the more greetings I hear, I get more annoyed. It has been 10 months since I have last seen her. Haena. Even her name breaks my heart a little.

Many people would think that our love was petty and nonsensical, but for me, this was true love. I feel something overwhelming every time we spend our time together. But knowing Haena, she might have already grown and had a happy life. Meanwhile, me on the other hand, was having a hard time living life without her. She might have even forgotten me, or maybe she have a boyfriend now.

A boyfriend a lot better than me.

But I could never picture it in my head. Having her cuddle with another man. I just couldn't. I loved her and I can't ever imagine that. But I'm being too selfish, too selfish that I hurt her too.

I'm missing her more than anything. I wish I could just spend my crappy birthday with her.

Obviously, that will never happen.

Sometimes I lay in bed, picturing her by my side. Imagining what would it be like if she was here, cuddling with me. Life would be a lot better then. But I erased all those thoughts, for they were selfish. I buried my head deep in my pillow, wishing I could just drift off and close my senses. But her memories haunt my dreams, making me get up at 3 am, with slight dampness on my eyes.

She was my world.

And it's crumbling down.