When We Meet on Novembers ;; Jungkook

- November 2011

h a e n a

Here it was again.

I sighed as I knew this wasn't going to be a good start.

I should avoid him.

Even though it would hurt.

Because loving him would hurt me more.

Ever since the day I decided I would despise him, I felt a sudden ease on my heart. But on the other hand, also a twitch of regret in it.

I knew the next time I will meet him, it will never be the same again. The day we last met, I promised myself, to be a stranger he never noticed. A stranger who he really didn't think about. A stranger who cares nothing less about him.

Yes. Haena that's right.

Forget him.

;;

j u n g k o o k

I don't know how to feel about this day.

It hurts.

But I have to endure it. 

Sometimes I lay in bed, picturing her by my side. Imagining what would it be like if she was here, cuddling with me. Life would be a lot better then. But I erased all those thoughts, for they were selfish.

Yes. Jungkook. That's selfish.

So just forget her.

Maybe she doesn't care about me now. Maybe she has gotten a better life.

Unlike me, who is about to die of loneliness.

;;

h a e n a 

I stared at the ants going down from the wall.

I had no plans on checking if he's here.

All I know was I hate him.

Or should I say, I should hate him.

But his scent lingered the place.

I knew it was him.

Oh how I missed it.

But I had to pretend. I have to despise him.

I opened an app on my phone, trying to not notice Jungkook.

But soon got tired of playing the game that I never got a score higher than 10.

He still distracts me, though.

But I hate him so much. I have to forget him.

;;

j u n g k o o k

Maybe I mean nothing to her now.

She hasn't laid her eyes on me. For hours.

Or maybe for years.

No matter how I tried, she never noticed me.

Why am I even doing this?

Shouldn't I hate her?

Don't be selfish.

Don't hurt her.

;;

h a e n a

And then our eyes met.

Ugh I hate this.

Why does such things always happen at the wrong time?

He was so handsome.

God.

He had grown up so much and....

I missed him so much.

But I had to forget that.

Instead, I averted my gaze and returned to playing games on my phone, which was starting to die.

I hate you, Jeon Jungkook.

;;

j u n g k o o k

Oh. Yes she hates me.

What did I even do to deserve this?

Fine. I hate you too, Haena.

I hate you for hurting me so much. I hate you for changing me. I hate you for loving me. I hate you.

But I love you too. Ugh.

And then I noticed the familiar blue velvet box on my pocket.

The bracelet.

What a waste of money.

I could've bought something better for myself. Instead of wasting it on this stupid bracelet for Haena.

Which she will never receive anyways.

Since she hates me.

And I hate her.

I slipped the bracelet back onto its box and put it inside my pocket.

Leave her.

Bye.

;;

h a e n a

He left.

Nuuuu!1!1

No. I should be celebrating.

I can finally stop pretending and be comfortable now.

YAy.

But something felt sad inside me.

So I tried to shrug it off.

I proposed to mom that we leave soon.

Bye.

;;