What If?

Prologue

         The day was cloudy and rainy the lights were too bright for my small hospital room and the sounds of the city were too loud for my ears. I was waiting to hear news from the doctor to see if I was going to be discharge or if I would need to be kept here for more observation. I blamed my panic attack for putting me in this situation, but if I was being completely honest as to why I had my panic attack it was his fault. When I found out that he had left I couldn't believe it. He didn't say goodbye he didn't write a note nothing, he just vanished. 

He left as fast as he came into my life. My mom went to go get me some food down in the hospital cafeteria, she was worried that when she left for her trip I might not eat until she came back, and honestly who would blame her for thinking that way. I got out of the bed and went to was my face. I looked finished my eyes puffy from crying nonstop and my lip chewed up from all the anxiety I had. I should have seen it coming him leaving me just like everything good in my life, everyone always left that's just how it's always been. 

As I stared out the window my mom had finally come back from the cafeteria she stared rambling about how I had to take care of my self is she isn't here if I don't take care of myself then who and stuff like that. All I really care to think about was why he would leave me after everything we went through why would he do that to me if he knew how much I've been through and how damage I was. What if I he never cared for me, what if he never really liked me, what if I never meet him? Would my life not be as mess up as it is right now?