Diary

Chapter Four

Nicki P.o.v

January 1, 2001 (Still 11 Years Old)

Okay so a lot has happened since I last wrote in you diary, first I want to say that we moved from our old house.

Anthony said that our house had too many bad memoirs and we needed to move into a new house to start our own memories and on top of that Justin hasn't talked to me since the wedding.

******

"But mom I like our house, I grew up here!" I said as my mom packed another box in my room.

"Nicki, I'm sorry but we need to move. Our family is growing and this house doesn't fit all of us." She said putting more stuff in my box.

"But mom I-"

"Nicki stop all that whining shit, now go upstairs and pack some more boxes" my mouth hang open, my mom has never and I mean never cussed at me.

I stomped upstairs but Antony was standing in the hallway blocking my way, I glared at him this was his fault.

I bumped past him but he grabbed my arm hard, I tried to pull away but he held tighter.

"Little bitch don't disrespect me, remember I'm your daddy now"

"You'll never be my daddy!" I said, he lifted his hand up and I flinched waiting for the hit.

When I didn't feel one I opened my eyes, he was smirking.

He let me go, "Remember what I said, next time I won't be so nice" he said walking downstairs.

I bolted to my room and I slammed my door, "STOP SLAMMING MY DAMN DOORS!" Anthony yelled.

I opened the door and slammed it again just to piss him off; I sat on my bed and grabbed my pink teddy bear.

I then walked over to my window and the window next door was closed but the light was on. I haven't talked to Justin since the wedding, I turned the walkie talkie on and then I spoke.

"Justin?" there was no answer. So I repeated his name, after the 5th time saying it he still didn't answer.

*******

He didn't even come to my see me, I waited as long as I could but when Anthony said it was time to go we piled in the car. As we drove off I looked behind me and watched my old neighborhood fade.

Love,

Nicki

I sat it down and someone knocked on my door, "Come in" was my replay and soon Aubrey walked inside.

"Hey Nicki" he said sitting on my bed, I raised my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them.

"Hi, what you need?" I said.

"Well, I know you been kind of sad lately and I wanted to know if you wanted to come in my room and watch a movie or something"

I shrugged and got off the bed, I grabbed my blanket and my pink teddy bear. We walked in his room which was way bigger than mine; I sat on his bed resting on the head board. He put a movie in and soon he came and sat beside me, he wrapped an arm around me and I felt uncomfortable s I moved over some.

A few minutes into the movie, I felt his lips on my neck. I tired moving but he held me down, I whimpered. He laid me down so he was hovering over me; I closed my eyes as his lips touched my neck once again.

*Present Day*

Memories of that night started to flash through my head, making me drop even more tears. I slammed the diary down and stood up. I rubbed my hands on my pants trying to get the flashes out of my head, I tried calming myself down but I wasn't sad about it I was pissed. I hate thinking about him; I started pacing the floor, still feeling all the emotions I always feel. Sad, angry, and pissed that my innocence was taken from me.

I stopped pacing and stared at the diary, I walked back over to it.

"I shouldn't have picked you up" I whispered to myself, I sighed and sat down.

Again it sat in my lap me still staring at it, "I already started I might as well finish" I said a loud to myself.

I closed my eyes trying to control the images, when I reopened them I opened the diary turning the next entry.