Never a dream

That night-Memories

Your POV

"Let's go, my princess!" Oppa stood up and held out his hand to me. I grabbed it and we left the park.

"How do you know that I'm at the park?" I asked.

Oppa kept quiet for a moment.

"The vendor again?" I asked as I don't think his members have any idea about me going to the park, right? Oppa nodded.

"I feel so ashamed." Oppa said while keeping his head down.

"Why? Am I not good enough for you to be proud of?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Then? What is it you're ashamed of?"

"The vendor knows more about you than me."

"And?"

"And I'm supposed to know more than the vendor. I'm your brother!" Oppa turn and looked at me.

"Are you ashamed just because of that?"

"Of course I'm ashamed! I don't even feel like I'm your brother." Oppa said with tears forming in his eyes.

The both of us stopped walking. I turn and look at oppa.

"Oppa. Look. It's true that the vendor knows about me. But does she even know that I hate eating strawberries? Does she know that I hate loneliness? Does she know that I hate being mistaken? No. She doesn't know. But you do, oppa. There's nothing to be ashamed of." I explained.

Seokjin's POV

She looked into my eyes and explained.

She's speaking from her bottom of her heart.

"But..."

"But what? She never knew those, right? She's not with me for the nineteen years of my life. At least you were, oppa. That's nothing to be ashamed of." She said- looking into my eyes again.

I felt really embarrassed. I'm his brother. Yet I don't even know where she always goes to whenever she's feeling down. Although she said it was okay, but I still feel ashamed.

I'm supposed to know her more than that vendor. But no. When I turn and look at her, I can't really see her. My vision was blurred. That's when I realized I broke down in front of her.

I'm not supposed to! I'm a man! How can I cry!

She didn't felt embarrassed about me crying though. She consoled me instead.

"Oppa, it is totally fine for a guy to cry. What matters is, after crying, you must stand up on your feet again." She wiped my tears away with her thumb.

But damn, my tears don't seem to be stopping.

She saw that. She hugged me immediately.

She patted my back and said: "Oppa, cry it all out. After crying, you'll feel better. Remember? That's how mum taught us."

I remember, of course.

The memories that we had with our parents starts to replay in my mind. I always remember what our dad told us whenever we feel like giving up on something. He always says: "Whenever you feel like giving up, think about the reason of you holding onto it for so long. Question yourself. 'Why did I hold onto it till now?' If you found the reason, carry on. And tell yourself 'This is why I hold onto it till now.'"

I remember that's when our cute little YoonMin asked: "What if we can't find a reason to it?" Dad replied: "Then I guess it's time for you to give up."

Whenever I felt like giving up, I'll always question myself.

Dad taught us well.

As for our mum, she taught us to cry.

Weird, huh?

But she added: "But remember to stand up on your feet and carry on. Don't just stop there. It won't get you anywhere if you stop."

And with that, we got through everything together. YoonMin cried for like one whole week after our parents passed away. I asked her what mum always said to us. She repeated what mum said.

"And what are you doing now? Crying one whole week without food."

"Aren't you their son!? Can't you feel anything!? Are you even a human!? How can you be so calm when I'm so miserable!? How could you!? They're your parents too!" She screamed at me.

"I am! I'm calm?" I scoffed.

"I'm miserable too! But, what mum said!? What did she say before she left us!? You can repeat what she says, but you can't do it. You know how disappointed mum and dad will be if they see you in this state!? Human, but you don't behave like one. Monster, but you don't behave like one because you look like one. Do you think they'll rest in peace!? Do you think they'll be happy up there seeing you in this state!?"

YoonMin cried harder after I scolded her. I felt bad. But that's the only way I can wake her mind up!

I have to be firm!

After much crying, she calms down a little.

"Listen. I don't mean to scream at you." I kneeled in front of her.

"But, mum and dad wouldn't bear to see you like this! You're not living well! They won't rest in peace if they see you in this state. You want them to rest in peace, right?" She nodded.

"Then you should live well! Let them know that you can live well! You're not the only one going through all this. You're not going through all this alone and I won't let that happen. I'm here with you! Oppa is here for you!" I sat down next to her. I pulled her in for a tight hug. She cried. I patted her back- just like how she did when I'm crying now.

She pulled away. "Oppa, feeling better?" I nodded.

"Isn't it weird? You did exactly the same when I was so devastated after mum and dad passed away." I smiled.

"Yes. And now it's your turn to do it. Thanks anyway." She smiled back.

"That's what siblings are for. Be there for one another, isn't it?"

Both of us laughed.

Yeah. That's what siblings are for.

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