AWAKENING - A Universe Of Secrets

Dreams

The darkness in our spirits makes us want to tap into light
The brightness of the day makes us forget the cool of night
Jc

Joey sat at her school desk thinking about the dream, she was at the point where she didn't even bother anymore. These dreams had been haunting her since she remembered life. She would see upcoming deaths, bad events, and the ones in which she actually felt like falling, drowning, getting injured and most of what took place in her dreams happened to her physically in real life too. But she loved to dream, to a fault. She loved to daydream. Whether sitting in school by the window seat or alone at home. She would dream. She loved to read, she breathed books, consumed the words as if they were her only escape from reality. She had always been alone, even when she had friends, even when she had family, she was always alone. She had grown too tired of having to explain herself to people who didn't care to listen . In their eyes, she was an immature, silly girl who somehow wrote really good poetry. When her friends and family first found out that her poetry had been selected on an international forum, everyone was astonished. One of them even said to her, "Oh you know you don't really look like the kind to write poetry, you look like the kind to scribble on a paper." She laughed on hearing those words, a faint, lifeless laugh which of course everyone considered to be a 'that was really funny 'laugh, but really what was so amusing about her being made fun of, she mused. Because people did that a lot.
She wasn't happy, she wasn't contented, she was wretched, utterly miserable just like her poetry, just like her soul. She stopped caring a long time ago. She stopped being a sentimental person.... But who was she trying to fool, she was sentimental, always called a crybaby. Her mother didn't like it when she cried, so she would go to the bathroom on the nights she felt it was too much to take. It was hilarious, really, All her family thought she had digestion problems which was yet another thing to be made fun of. She didn't hate her family, she just didn't like people in general. Because people were selfish, people were blind, people were people, though she did love her parents dearly.
She had thought of suicide, a few more times that she would like to think but she could never bring herself to try anything just for the sake of her parents.
Huh it was peculiar, she had lived her whole life for other people and even when she wanted to die, she was still thinking about others.
She wanted to become a writer, she wrote all those emotions she couldn't express, she put them into words....... She knew she wasn't that good a writer but she just had to write for her pages were the only ones who knew her.
Her pages were usually wet and the ink was spoiled for she had often written while her tears wrote their own stories.
She wasn't happy, she wasn't contented, she was wretched, utterly miserable for deep down she knew something was missing, Something significant...................