Damaged Goods (Book 1)

9.

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Waking up the next morning was harder than any dick I've ever seen. I was naked and underneath a girl who was muttering in her sleep. Pushing my mind to remember was painful, but I pushed hard enough that I could form a name and face. Faye, weird little Ariel. Looking around I saw I was still at the party house and that it was 6 in the fucking morning. I looked over and saw another body beside Faye was an equally naked girl. Brown hair and a butterfly tramp stamp. I'm betting a hundred bucks it's Heather.

This must be a guest room or something as there were no personal touches and lack of noise around . I waited until my head stopped pounding and Faye rolled off me and cuddled into the pillow next to her. This was my cue to leave. I gathered all my clothes and went to search for Asher and Abby. Lord only knows if Abby hadn't stolen my car and left our asses.
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It took me about five minutes to find Abby. She was passed out in the tub of one of the bathrooms down the hall covered in vomit. Vomit in the sink, vomit in the trash car, vomit on her, and none on the fucking toilet. I scrunched up my nose and decided maybe finding Asher first would be the best thing. After checking for a pulse and propping her up against the tub I went in search of Asher.

Searching the whole house was a bust so I looked at his location. Nearly tripping over random bodies I pinpointed his location. Why he was outside I'd never know but oh when I found him he better not be naked in my car. Only my naked ass can grace those seats. As soon as I found him I laughed hard and had to cover my mouth. Ash was in the bushes half naked with a girl, surrounded by beer bottles, condom wrappers, and an empty whip cream tub.
"What kind of kinky shit is this?"

After taking a few pictures and Snapchats of this I pinched his nose and waited for him to panic. He was the only guy I know that couldn't breath out of their mouth. He started to frail and panic and only opened his eyes to throw a lazy punch which I dodged effortlessly. Took him a while to realize it was me but when he did instant violence.
"What the hell man!" Ash yelled and reached for me, but quickly regretted it as he grabbed his head.
"Oi, mate I have the hangover of a lifetime. Feels like I've gone and gotten hit by a Double Decker."
"No, if you would've gotten hit by a Double Decker Bus you'd be dead. You wouldn't feel anything. '' I said and motioned towards the house.

"Jay, where's my blonde headed wonder? Last time I saw her she was on her third game of beer bong and ignoring me." Ash said while finding his pants.
"That's where we're headed. I found her passed out in the bathroom covered in vomit. We have to wash her off cause she's not getting in my car like that." I said pointing to my surprisingly still clean car. Again I say people, want a clean car park down the block.

"You do know that you are going to have to strip and clean her yourself right. I want to see her naked alright, but you two were mates. I'm a stranger and well...she'll kill me."
I stopped and thought about it. Abby would be embarrassed if I gave her a bath, but she would be mortified if Asher was there as well. Walking back up the stairs I decided that I would have to do this alone. God, she better not have cooties.

"Alright, do you think you're capable of doing this? The female anatomy is very different from the males. You might see things you can't explain. Those things may be scary at first, but you must be pre..."

"Asher shut the fuck up. I know what I'm doing. And you of all people should know that I know all about the female and male anatomy." I said and closed the door to the bathroom in his face.

"You just had to make it dirty didn't you?"

I chuckled a little and turned to see Abby still laying in the tub covered in vomit.

"OK Abigail let's do this."

Now you might think to yourself here. 'Why didn't you just sit her up in the tub and turn the shower on?' Well to answer you very naive question is simply, Abby can't swim. She has panic attacks when surrounded by water with no help and seeing as she's still unconscious, she just might panic. Drunk I can deal, but if she panics and starts swinging I will have to leave her for dead.
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15 minutes later

"That was harder than I thought it would be. " My shirt was soaked, my jaw was bruised and my patience was shot to hell.

Abigail here was fine and dandy when I peeled her vomit covered shirt off, but when I reached her jeans she flipped out earning me an elbow to the jaw. Seeing as she was a girl and unconscious I couldn't very well hit her or yell at her to stop. I wiped a warm rag on her chest and arms. I once again reached for her vomited covered jeans which ended in panic.
Silly me thinking she would just calm down when I threw water on her face was surprised when she mumbled something about having to pee.

"Oh no the hell you don't. " I yelled and tried to get her to respond again. Slapping her cheeks and holding her head up when it bobbled.
"Gotta pee." she mumbled more panicked and I hurriedly shoved her underwear down and sat her on the toilet. It would have been ok if she could've held her head up steady instead of bobbing around. I shook her because there was no way I was wiping her.
"Abby?! Wake the fuck up!" I yell for the 5th time. I hear a knock and then Asher's voice rang out.
"Everything okay mate?"
"No, but if she wakes with you anywhere near her she'd scream."

"Because she's naked?"
"Because she's naked, still drunk, and the moment I've managed to get her to be awake she's seen my face and not yours."
I shake her again and think against doing that again when I hear her stomach grumble.
"Oh what because I'm black?"
"Asher pl-"
"No I get it the black guy's the scary one innit?"
"Asher you know I didn-"

"I know mate, just fucking with you. I'm going to find some clothes for her then I'm going to sit down. Breathing hurts." Fading footsteps and a slumping Abby leaves me punching the air.
"Abby please! I don't think it's supposed to dry on you. Here, just wipe so we can go!" I'm whispering begging now and by the grace of God she wakes up enough to take the toilet paper and sloppily wipe herself. I flush the toilet with enough hope in my body that she was coming around.

"Good girl now pull up the panties. Come on, you can do it!" She manages to get them up mid thigh before taking a deep breath as if she's the one who has been doing all the work.

Another knock and a soft thump leaves me to believe the clothes have been delivered. Making sure Abby won't fall over I dash for the clothes and come back to quickly dress her. Carrying her bridal style I resist the urge to bang her head on every wall until we reach the car. Finally getting outside I dump her in the backseat and huff soon as I make it to the driver's seat. I sit for a minute just breathing and trying not to have a bitch fit.
"I'm guessing that didn't go well."
"Shut the fuck up Asher."
"Noted."

After that little episode I hurriedly gave her my shirt. Seeing as I was about 6'3 and she was a good 5'6 it went to her knees. Picking her up bridal style and opened the door to a bored looking Asher. I pushed her into his arms and ignored his questions. Like I said something won't be spoken of ever again.