Aries: the (shipped) golden standard
Taurus: (coffee's for closers)
Gemini: she's my winona
Cancer: 27
Virgo: 20 dollar nose bleed
Libra: headfirst slide into Cooperstown on a bad bet
Scorpio: what a catch donnie
Sagittarius: w.a.m.s.
Capricorn: wast cost smoker
Aquarius: America's sweethearts
Pisces: disloyal order of water buffaloes
